For a girl who loved rain

For a girl who loved rain

A Poem by William Liston
"

a bit different from my usual style

"

I used to think there was a certain look to everyone 
the athlete with giant pectorals,
the nerd with thick glasses and a skinny frame,
the weirdo with crazy blue hair and peach eyebrows.

But you ... 
you didn't fit my stereotype.
I always envisioned the depressed
as ones with mopey facial expressions,
with dark blue shades written over their frowns
and metal lungs over their hearts.

But you ...
you weren't blue;
you were of the brightest orange.

That was your favorite color,
or at least, I think it was.
I faintly remember you telling me that 
on a day I was too angry to listen.

You also told me  
everyone needs at least one hug a day.
I still remember how you'd hug me,
your arms wrapped tightly around my waist
for 15 seconds or so.

You'd talk for hours about your philosophy of life.
I'd listen occasionally and would think you were delusional.
You believed that rain could cry
and felt sorry it never got the praise it deserved.
I'd usually laugh at you,
but still, you spoke and smiled.

You had a pleasant voice, though.
It was raspy with a dry, high-pitched sound,
almost like a toddler with a sore throat.
It grew on me the more I heard it.

One day, you were more distressed than usual
and told me you were sad for no apparent reason.
I pretended to ignore you.

You'd always listen to my problems, though;
at least, you were willing to.
I never told you any of my emotions
because I never understood them;
they lingered somewhere in my heart,
just below my understanding
and just above my tolerance for pain.

You had a high tolerance for pain.
Sometimes, you'd talk about 
how your mother abused you
and how your brother raped you daily.

Your talks got sadder ...
I think you even shed a tear once.

One day,
you didn't talk. 
You didn't smile.
I'm not even sure if you had a heart that day,
and if you did,
it was probably tugging at sorrow
heavier than lead.

The last moment you saw me that day,
you said, without a trace of emotion,
"I'm sad."
I wanted to hug you,
but, instead, just ignored you and walked back home.

The next day, I didn't see you,
just a few people's tears at school
as they talked about your suicide.
I didn't care ...
you wanted to die, else you wouldn't have killed yourself.
Why would I miss you, your smile, or your voice?

You were an idiot anyway,
with your delusional fantasies.

Walking back to my house,
I saw gray clouds forming in the sky.
I remembered that you liked rain,
especially at night when it would lull you to sleep.

Minutes later, a single drop of rain
landed on my cheek.
"It probably misses you," I thought.
The rain then began to downpour.
That's when I thought of you,
how you'd talk about rain
and how it would make you smile,
even on days you wanted to shed tears.

Until then, I never knew rain could cry,
nor could I appreciate the melody in its sound
or the soft look of its specks
gleaming in the sun.
I was blind to such subtleties.
Perhaps I'd been too cold to notice.


© 2017 William Liston



Author's Note

William Liston
I'm not sure whether to keep the line breaks or make this piece into a prose poem and use a paragraph structure. Any input on this would be greatly appreciated. Do you think the line breaks add anything?

Please leave an honest review. Constructive criticism is welcomed and encouraged.

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Featured Review

You continue to awe me, Will. This brings to mind, for me, the small things in our day that we overlook, and something as simple as the rain, can bring it all into focus.

I wish I were at 16 where you are now...making indelible impressions upon the world of poets, everywhere!

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

William Liston

1 Week Ago

Thank you so much, Kelly. You've interpreted this piece as I've intended. Your words mean a lot to m.. read more



Reviews

I balled out my eyes on this one...
Extremely emotional and well made for sure!
The paragraph structure was great as well..
I really loved this poem William..
very well done!


Posted 5 Hours Ago


This completely hooked me and surprised me!
Wonderful writing, emotional ..
When memories etch directly from your heart, they do make you cry.
I continue to appreciate your vocab power.
"the athlete with giant pectorals,

the nerd with thick glasses and a skinny figure,

the weirdo with crazy blue hair and peach eyebrows."
Great style achieved at this age. Go on further!!

Posted 5 Days Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

William Liston

5 Days Ago

Thank you for your uplifting words, Tazeen. I really appreciate them.
This is just a beautiful piece. I really do love it.

Posted 6 Days Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

William Liston

5 Days Ago

Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed.
This is beautiful. I love the poems where your can show your growth as a person. It's amazing how many poems are about rain, yet they are so different. I love yours. It was so dramatic and sad and you conveyed that perfectly. I think the line breaks add order and structure to your poem. You should keep them because line breaks cry too.

Posted 6 Days Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

William Liston

6 Days Ago

Thanks for your uplifting review, Quinn.
Glad you enjoyed.
This is really nice, very well articulated. I think there's a grammatical error in the first line, though. Shouldn't it be "I used to think..." instead of "I use to think..." (I may be mistaken. English's not my first language).
I'm new to this world, so I can't really offer much in the way of constructive criticism, but I think you're doing great. I admire your work.


Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

William Liston

6 Days Ago

Thank you for your kind words, and you're right, it should be "used." I appreciate you pointing that.. read more
everytime is say you can't write better , you do ! and I will put simply : beautiful *-*

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

William Liston

1 Week Ago

Thank you so much!!
The way you began this write with I used to think and ended with the words I was blind to.....to notice, showing a transition and some transformation through your story, has touched me.

And the as for the presentation, if we use a paragraph structure sometimes readers may skip or miss some sentences, so for me, this form appeals. And moreover the mind looks for more details in paragraph structure.
This write is about my favorite phenomenon rain. For people connected with the elements it is normal to expect and sometimes receive empathy from the existence so the words like rain could cry for us or a cold breeze consoling us don't seem unnatural to me. In fact, there can be many more possibilities.
Your write really touched me William, especially the last two stanzas. Thank you for sharing this nice, moving craft, William. God bless you.

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

William Liston

1 Week Ago

Thank you so much for your uplifting review.
I'm glad you enjoyed.
I've always thought of the rain as the skies crying over a broken heart somewhere or at least something like that..
Regarding the content, I think it's too often that we miss people only when they're out of our sight, never once acknowledging their importance when they are with us.. You portrayed that feeling well.

Regarding the structure - it reads smooth to me but idk if it would be better if you wrote this in paragraph structure.
Heart touching piece.

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

William Liston

1 Week Ago

Thank you Yumna. I'm glad you enjoyed.
YumnaKay

1 Week Ago

you're welcome, William. A pleasure :)
I am going ahead of you, then why did you let me go up above you? you know even though you throw apple, as per Newton(JAKoB) it falls down due to gravity right in his hands only, otherwise people can't sustain cyclones(Indian word for hurricanes) little bit painted not uncovered.

Posted 1 Week Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

different from usual style means, its true right as there is time lag. even though with no time gap, you would have seen me as grand daughter following the granny, with same selection, time has not changed her, 10yrs or 100yrs gap, it would be the same trend then or now, soul likes the same soul whether back or front.

Posted 1 Week Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on April 18, 2017
Last Updated on April 25, 2017
Tags: sad, rain, girl, poem

Author

William Liston
William Liston

About
I am 16 years old and I enjoy writing poems. For me, writing is a passion because I've always treasured the power of words. Some of my influences include Edgar Allan Poe, Paul Laurence Dunbar, Robert .. more..

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