The thing that kills

What kills you? Don't let it in, not even for a moment.

Oh, it's a dreadful lot - the thing that kills.

A slimy, salamander beast of a thing! 

with barbs for eyes, it gives me chills,

The thing that kills. 

Spitting acid on the will of your dreams,

she'll coax you back with promise and sultry,

and all other things it seems.

But it'll be you who loses the sweetest of dreams.

And you'll be a sluggard before you know;

all that she promised will be unfulfilled,

and she'll be your greatest foe.

It's your choice, and you know. 

If you choose to let her in,

you'll be awarded years of pitiless sorrow.

You'll think of her now and then,

thinking of how you let her in.

You'll be thinking of the thing that kills,

and it won't ease your ages of waste.

You'll think of it when your heart finally stills;

the thing that kills.

Reviews

[Stephen]

Lol ..it makes me chuckle along the side of feeling emotions. Nice poem, how beautifully you express the few things that kills in your poetic way! Lovely! It's simply and beautiful write, If I say. I'd look forward reading your stuffs!

[Thomas Skahill]

This sounds like it's straight out a Tim Burton film and I love it, I think you have a real talent for not awkwardly putting together a rhyme and would like to see if this poem could be part of a larger story in your writing.

[Corisica]

Tim Burton, eh? He's a magnificent director. Though I think his work enters a different realm. He's all about dark beauty and wonder. I'm glad you like my poem. I have a hard time writing free-style poetry, I mostly stick to short fiction. I actually thought about turning this poem into a ballad with the same A1, B, A, A1 rhyme scheme. What do you think?

[Thomas Skahill]

True, I could just see one of the characters singing this to be creepy so yea a ballad sounds wonderful. It would also make it more "folk-lorey" like its one of those old songs sung to children to keep them behaving. I would spend time developing a refrain and chorus though.

[Corisica]

Oh I do like the folk-lore idea. It does seem like a song children would sing to keep out of trouble! It's about procrastination, if you hadn't already guessed. I was procrastinating whilst writing it too! Haha

[Thomas Skahill]

Hah, well don't procrastinate too much before furthering it! if you have time, I'd appreciate if you checked out my work

[Sami Khalil]

"You'll be thinking of the thing that kills,

and it won't ease your ages of waste.

You'll think of it when your heart finally stills;

the thing that kills."

Thank you for sharing this good poem...:).....................

[Corisica]

I'm glad you enjoyed it! The last stanza kind of ends on a strong note, don't you think? That's what I'm going for, anyway.

[Sami Khalil]

I agree. You are welcome...:).................