I'm a Personal Trainer

I'm a Personal Trainer

A Poem by Crazy Cat Man
"

a poem inspired by a poet named Danny Matos. He lost a Poetry Slam in the Nuyorican Poet's Cafe. But i feel its unfair since the winning poets are teachers.

"
I'm not a teacher
I'm a personal trainer
I don't teach bad a*s inner city kids
I help fat people so they can be fit
You make sure your kids stay in school
I make sure fat people get off their stools
You make sure your kids go to their classes
I make sure fat people lose their fat asses
So I'm not a teacher
That does not mean I'm not saving the world
No one wants to date a fat girl
I'm helping her lose weight
So cool kids can ask her for a date
Sorry I don't have poems about gentrification
I help others get strong through recreations
Sorry I don't have poems about slavery
I'm a capitalist all I care about is money
So buy my book of poetry
Sorry I don't have poems about being black
Since I'm half Latino I guess I am not that oppressed
Sorry that I am not a lesbian
Nevermind
I know what it feels like to fall in love with a woman
I have no chance in a Poetry Slam
But you know what I don't give a damn
Sorry that I'm not teaching kids for the future
I'm teaching adults to get their health better
So sorry that I don't fit what you think is a poet
I am not a teacher
I'm a personal trainer
So I don't care what you think m**********r




© 2013 Crazy Cat Man



Author's Note

Crazy Cat Man

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Reviews

Awesome writing. :)

Posted 4 Years Ago


Crazy Cat Man

4 Years Ago

yeah dude. if u been to poetry slams. the winners are usually teachers who have poems about their st.. read more
Cat Man Do! This is one of my favorites from you. Really well done, and I love the message. Great write, my friend.

-kimmer ;-)

Posted 4 Years Ago


well if that doesn't say it all
you tell them!
thank you for sharing

Posted 4 Years Ago


ha lyric wise i think this is one of your strongest pieces :D

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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Pax
epic ending!
great read!

Posted 4 Years Ago


HA! I'm a heterosexual marine built like a f*****g Clydesdale who openly admits to objectifying women and treating them like sex toys. About the only way I could win a poetry slam is putting emphasis on the word "SLAM" when talking to the judges. I liked this poem. Particularly the ending. F**k you dick. That's what I'm talking about

Posted 4 Years Ago


Crazy Cat Man

4 Years Ago

Ha. i knew u were gonna like this poem. i was gonna message u. yeah u are built like a diezel. u got.. read more
This poem doesn't just bite, it lacerates, and I mean that in the emotional and complimentary way...even though it's inspired by a personal event, it becomes a social commentary very quickly, and a viciously witty one at that...an intensely significant piece of writing on many levels :)

Posted 4 Years Ago


Crazy Cat Man

4 Years Ago

Yeah. have u ever heard of the Nuyorican Poets Cafe? very militant there. the popular poets were the.. read more

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681 Views
7 Reviews
Rating
Added on February 12, 2013
Last Updated on February 12, 2013
Tags: teachers, poets, personal trainers, skills

Author

Crazy Cat Man
Crazy Cat Man

New York, NY



About
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