He Will Never Know

My feelings..

When rain is falling from the clouds,
The sky is a shade of endless gray.
The sun now hides in darkness
And the trees begin to decay.

Each flower due to bloom
Now wilts in strong disgust.
My heart begins to crumble,
My soul turns into dust.

When lighting starts its crashing
The buildings begin to fall.
The walls are closing in
And there are monsters in the halls.

Each organism ready to live
Now begins to die.
My being begins to collapse,
And I do start to cry.

The mirror is now shattered
For my face remains no more.
My hands begin to fade
There is pain and I feel sore.

My words are now failing.
With one last breath i say,
"I am so sorry, I cannot spend another day."

And so now I feel punished.
He knows I care for him so.
I wish I could tell him,
"I love you,"

But now he'll never know.

Author's Note

Thank you for reading! Please review kindly :)

Reviews

[Matthew James Ginn]

I like your use of personification for the sun. It sets a world that is a little more different than ours and sets the reader quite nicely. The clouds do form a semblance of a depressive feeling; kind of like a feeling that has been harbored in the inside for some time. The juxtaposition of the flower blooming to the wilting personification of disgust is an interesting , although moot way to express imagery. The bit about soul turning to dust is a little cliche but it fits with the tone. The mirror is a good way to show the emotion behind through an inanimate object without actually articulating it. The free verse has a way on not using a rhyme scheme but there were instances where there was and you didn't really stick to it. It was not the same throughout so maybe stick with full free verse or a static rhyme scheme. The end about the person you desire was a nice passionate add on. However, it doesn't really fit with the overall tone of the piece that well in my opinion. Ultimately, good job my friend.

[Cool Girl]

Thank you very much! I really appreciate it :) it's good to hear from you, my friend :)

[Dead]

This is really well written :) But don't worry there's someone out there for you ^_^ you'll find them

[Cool Girl]

Thanks! :)

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Umm... It's beautiful, sister mine. Pure emotion, straight forward. Lovely piece.

[Cool Girl]

Thank you :)

[Dani The Unreviewed]

oh...I think I know who he is. the dude, that LAD was jealous about. right?

[Cool Girl]

Nope it's not about him lol