Longing

Missing my daughter.

Longing

9/1/2016

 

Walking in the woods

crisp crunchy leaves

critters playing hide-and seek

chittering children

Eyes closed, savoring. . .

But it's a deep blue-black forest

with no clearing in sight.

 

Ambling  on a country path

Grazing cows and calves

Laughing moos:  'ma-ma',  'baby'

Sweet wheat,  sun,

basking in the day.....

But it's a treacherous road

with no horizon

 

At rest, mountain retreat

Comfortable cave

moist,  just- cool -enough air

peaceful, silent

sanctuary. . .

But, it's a deep, dark, brown-black

shadow

with no bottom.

 

 Gentle rocking sailboat

sweet refreshing breeze

echoes of gulls

giggling, calling-out  children

Echoes, distant echoes

no shore anywhere

 

I miss her.

Reviews

[guy drori]

I sensed emptiness . . . especially in the last stanza when you write that there is no shore anywhere. I liked how you started the stanzas depicting a peaceful image and then writing about the dark forest that has no bottom.

"I miss her" is where you got me. I didn't see it coming. Definitely there is emptiness - a good, warm memory that he can only lead upon in his dreams perhaps or memories, yet now- in the present moment, the speaker is in somewhat of a dark place that has no apparent end.

Glad I read . . . very nice! Thanks for sharing :)

[Jo R.]

Thanks Guy.....appreciate the feedback. Yes much emptiness. I just finished and posted another today regarding the same loss. A process. Thanks!

[guy drori]

Well it is defintely a dark process I really like . . . waiting for more if you have any :)

[Jo R.]

Thanks just posted a poem today on this same struggle...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i related so much to the stanza on the cows...from my Vermont days as a kid...long ago...a part of me is missing since i cannot get back there again for awhile...

but to lose someone...there are such memories...they haunt but also bring joy---the time shared...

we live, we grow, we lose...and we know that life gives and takes...but what we experience is what some of us are able to bring to the page...as you so deftly do here.
your poetry has such texture to it.

j.

[Jo R.]

Jacob, those were actually Vt. cows you know...we used to live in New England and that was absolutely what was in my mind's eye!

Thank you for your comment, texture was what I was going for, the contrast between and how that feels as emotional texture. Jo