Chants: Chapter 1 - The World's Gone

A Fantasy/Adventure book about a 17 year old girl who wakes up to find everyone she loves is missing and the whole world, at least until she meets a mysterious figure in the shadows.....

She woke up, her senses slowly leaping back to life. First, hearing.

The familiar sound of birds singing and traffic bustling mixed with the nip of cold air on her nose from the window left ajar made her feel the way you only know when you have a home. Slowly her mind adjusted to her surroundings and she was in bed, like any other day.

Only today was different.

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Her name is Camille Decour, Cami for short. Today is her 17th birthday, although she never really looked forward too them anymore, it marked the anniversary of her parents death. They had been on their way to pick her up from a party and got in a big accident. It was only her and her sister left to stay with their aunt. Her aunt tried but it was straining at times, they never really had a connection, she always felt like a burden. A responsibility.

However this year she would get a present she never asked for.

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Dread was filling in her stomach as she crept down the stairs. November 28 always was her least favourite day. She reached the bottom of the stairs and with a deep breath waltz into the living room.

Expecting to see her aunt, it sent a wave of panic through her when she wasn't there but she pushed the thought aside and went to get some toast. Unaware that no one would reply she said "I'm leaving!".Slightly disappointed in the lack of attention this morning, she slipped on her shoes and left the house. Weary and tired she slammed the door (as if to make a point) and continued down the street.Something was strange, it seemed that she had imagined the traffic in the morning, the streets were baron and empty. What had once been full of bustling cars now showed no signs of life. Panic rose inside her as she started into a run. She told herself, get to the school, there will be people there, it will be fine.

It wasn't fine.

*   *   *

As she turned the corner on smiths street, relief hit her like the cold and bitter November morning wind. She could see something, lit by the damp orange glow of the streetlamp (it was dark in the early morning nowadays).It was a shadowy figure, on the rooftops of the old terrace houses that looked abandoned of the family who lived there. It resembled a boy, well built and almost double her height. He looks trained, she thought to herself.

Before she could think about him anymore he had started running and jumping across the rooftops, he looked inhuman. She thought she saw the light catch on something, almost like a metal blade. A sword.

No, that would be crazy, she doubted. By the time she had dismissed that thought, he was gone he had started running again although this time she lost him. He was too fast for her to keep up with her eyes. She started to run after him, he wasn't getting away that easy, he was the one person she'd seen all day, he was being questioned.

She felt a sharp pain in the back of her kneecaps but before she could turn around to see what it was, she was on the cold, unforgiving ground. She tried to force herself to her knees but she noticed that someone behind her, a masculine, smouldering voice (the type you hear In movies) was saying something, under his breath but getting louder and louder each time.

Reviews

[matrixmark]

Really good short piece. The part whee the man was jumping from rooftop to rooftop was really super cool - straight out fo something from an action movie.

The only thing which I would add - build up the suspense more when the perosn creeps up from behind. It bring so much more to the story. Also add some weather into it when the girl is walking on the street.

I like the ending bit it was well structured - good creepy build up as to who the mystery man could be.

Really cool short piece and I will read more of it.

Mark.

[Crimson]

Thanks for the feedback, I will definitely try to do everything you've suggested :)

[matrixmark]

No worries, let me know when you have done so. Really enjoyed reading your work.

Mark.

[Crimson]

Thank you :) I am currently in the process of writing chapter 4 and will try to include more of the weather and suspense.