Snowflakes

Three snowflakes met while falling from a cloud
One was a hexagon, the second a fern and the last one a stellar
They were floating through the air as they were lighter than a feather
Weightless, in comfort, no worries, of the wind they felt dwellers
Never thinking in the end, they might be ploughed…

The stellar was a fella with no worries in his cellar
I am ice, I am cool, I will just hang glide to where ever
The wind of me will care, taking me where flakes live forever
But as stellar said goodbye to his other snowflake flyers
He melted to a raindrop when the air caught a fever…

The fern had discerned that the wind he must distrust
For temperature or direction the wind had no command
I will congregate with others to make the biggest flake to land
All together we’d be colder, much stronger, we’ll expand
Yet the heavy flake landed on a road with salted crust.

The hexagon took notice of the fate of his companions
Doing nothing or too much were no solution to his illusion
With my geometry I will glide, with the wind I’ll work in union
Until I loosen from this wind reaching fair absolution
Its trip finally ended on a snow covered canyon.

Three snowflakes once met while falling from a cloud
As all snowflakes are, no two were alike
All three did define
How each one the wind would ride
As flakes in a crowd, how shall we release the shroud?

Reviews

[DaughterNature]

This is definitely cute! I like the personification of snowflakes a lot. I also like that you used stanzas and rhyme schemes that are not the traditional ABAB quatrains used by so many people on this site. My only thought for you might be that, since the hexagon is the "winning" snowflake, you might want to explore reworking the poem into the sestina form (it's a form that uses 6s).

[Al R. Arce]

Thank you so much for your review. I like toying with rhyme schemes a lot. I feel some of them allow me to add greater substance to the piece! I don't believe I have ever used sestina form! I like the geometric pattern matching the storyline you suggest! I really do! I'll put it on my things to do list! Thanks!

[Al R. Arce]

Winner Frozen Love Contest!

[PoeticChico]

First off, thank you so much for sharing!
I must say this piece was the best I've read in a while.
I love your creativity and just the way you make words flow.
Keep on sharing :)

[Al R. Arce]

I am glad you enjoyed this piece. Thank you for your feedback!

[TL Boehm]

interesting concept - which snowflake is the reader. I found myself gravitating toward the fern. When I was a little girl I remember the frost on my grandparents front door would form fernlike patterns. That snowflake took me back.
Well penned.

[MsJewel]

Your creativity shines in this amazing poem. I find it difficult to tell a story in a poem and you nailed it and rhymed it as well! Great writing my friend!

:) Julie

[Al R. Arce]

Thanks so much Julie! I really appreciate your comments!