My first kiss

I wrote this for fun . Hope u like it

We were at the beach.

When I couldn't reach. 

For my first kiss

My eyes sparkled into yours.

Whilst you rowed with oars.

For my first kiss.

Then we bought an ice-cream

But you were in a dream.

For my first kiss.

I gave up for a while.

Then walked 1 mile.

I heard your voice.

And then gave you a choice.

And you said.

I miss.

This first kiss. 

Author's Note

Pls feedback. Tnx for reading.

Reviews

[Lonely Islander]

awww its really sweet...good job:):):D

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Tnx! I'm glad u found it sweet! :)

[FrancescaX]

Pretty and sweet.

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Tnx

[NaomiJim]

This is lovely.
It makes me feel happy.
You can express beautifully for a girl of only 11.
Keep writing 'cause you'll only keep getting better!

[.]

Tnx. I'm very sure everyone keep's getting better at writing

[NaomiJim]

That is true. :)

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:)

[kublakhan27]

Very nice piece :)

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tnx

[Allyson Wolfe]

This is sweet, and cute. I like it!

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tnx

[Pax]

cute, sweet and lovely. great job

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tnx

[Lost in Wonderland]

aww how sweet! a lovely poem indeed! the only thing you could maybe do is add jst a tad more background...idk just a thought:)
God Bless

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tnx for reading

[Schyala]

"But you where in a dream"
Should be were and not where

Otherwise I didn't see anything. I wish my first kiss was like that :( Very great poem! I really enjoyed it :)
100/100

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Tnx