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Going home on't bus

Going home on't bus

A Poem by Wild Rose
"

Just a commuter journey

"
Going home on the bus
Been working late
Took a seat the first in the smoking zone
Got out a text book and commenced to read

Man comes behind with a small child
Lights a cig and begins to smoke
blows to smoke forward
All round my face 

Please do you mind 
Don't blow your smoke my way
It just goes that way
Yell 'ave ter stick or move

Returned to my book (so he thought)
Removed from my pocket
Pipe, tobacco (herbal smell like burning grass) and matches
Filled the pipe 
Lit it 

Now blew the smoke
So it drifted his way
Just puffed and blew
Now he was beginning to choke

Took out a larger pipe
Tobacco that issued black smoke
I continued to blow the smoke his way
He was now surrounded by a black smoke screen

Coughing he go up and moved
Some ladies across - gave me a clap
He's allus doin' that
Praps 'eel larn 

To consider other folks
An' not blows his smoke I; their face
Wish I could believe a lesson he's learned
But his sort - no never - not him

© 2018 Wild Rose


Author's Note

Wild Rose
Not spellin mistakes just a bit o' dialect talk

My Review

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Featured Review

dialect talk, that was very cool. it did certainly enhance the writing
as for the smoker, sometimes you have to fight fire with fire and sometimes you let it fizzle out. each situation is different.

no one should be smoking in a bus in the first place though
that is just wrong. no one should be smoking, period - that stuff will kill you

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Wild Rose

5 Years Ago

Joltara So correct I don't smoke (now) then only a pipe when relaxing with a book

Bus.. read more



Reviews

'going home on't bus'
Wild Rose,
In a perfect world all would consider each other. In a kind world all might see others as ourselves. Wouldnt that be nice. Nice bus commute with you today. I do not smoke but this story reminded me of one more way which others can forget about their brother or sister in life.
Kathy

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Wild Rose

1 Year Ago

Thank you Kathy > Actually I had completely forgotten this post
Haha. Some people never seem to learn. So I like the approach used here. It’s tit for tat. It’s proactive. It’s an answer to Mister “In Your Face” More ‘show’ than ‘tell’ worked here and it definitely makes for an interesting story too. I’m glad you wrote this. It has inspired me to act similarly in such a situation, in future. Enjoyed the dialect too!

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Wild Rose

5 Years Ago

Thank you > To him - Me in my blue safari jacket, a bit dusty from the chalk board, brief case and I.. read more
Dhara_Ditzy Kat

5 Years Ago

It seems to pack quite a punch. I like the spunk it gives. Never tried it. Would love to some day th.. read more
Wild Rose

5 Years Ago

What smoking > make you cough first time
Dont smoke now I found at that college it kept the.. read more
This is not just poetry, is it.. what you have crafted here Wild Rose is a little bit of British social and cultural history... this folks is just how it used to be int old days but with an accent thrown splendidly in for good effect...... Neville

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Wild Rose

5 Years Ago

Thank you Neville
I am writing a bit of social /family history in a book > part is now posted.. read more
Neville

5 Years Ago

my pleasure and good luck with the book my friend.... Neville
Frustration seemed to play a keen role in tone of this long bus journey. It's so easy for one person make a simple, relaxing commute feel hours long. When confronted with ignorance, it's not always so easy to control the situation, others, or even how we feel. However, we always have a grip on our own action and reaction. I also loved the use of dialect, it added a personal touch to the overall message. Great read.

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Wild Rose

5 Years Ago

Thank you for your review _ Annoyance rather than frustration - I don't like second hand smoke - who.. read more
Laurierose

5 Years Ago

Yes! I like how others shared your irritation and offered understanding.
That dreadful time when fire needs fire to subside, well done, good read.

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Wild Rose

5 Years Ago

I did make a polite request > Fire with fire

Just "Don't" rattle my cage
Very realistic & judiciously done dialect . . . not dialect overload. Love the overall story being told here, perfect pacing, satisfying irony, vivid imagery for all the senses. It's been decades since California law allowed smoking ANYWHERE, so I'd forgotten how this can be. Realistic reminder with a touch of fun revenge (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Wild Rose

5 Years Ago

Yes changed here now - Fun revenge ? No not then _ Don't do to me what you don't want done to youread more
conveyed a great message indeed to all the chainsmokers out here and there...

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Wild Rose

5 Years Ago

Uk now has a smoking ban > even the outside "Smoker shelters" are being removed
Sons firm pro.. read more
NEHA

5 Years Ago

Oh! That's a good news to hear that some countries HAVE put on their thinking caps!!!!!
dialect talk, that was very cool. it did certainly enhance the writing
as for the smoker, sometimes you have to fight fire with fire and sometimes you let it fizzle out. each situation is different.

no one should be smoking in a bus in the first place though
that is just wrong. no one should be smoking, period - that stuff will kill you

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Wild Rose

5 Years Ago

Joltara So correct I don't smoke (now) then only a pipe when relaxing with a book

Bus.. read more
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¿
Grumpy guy!! But only understood cause u wrote on the way that convey meanings.
It's ljke I'm peeping to someone one's dear diary!!
But indeed well read😊

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Wild Rose

5 Years Ago

Thanks for your comment
No I'm not grumpy (normally)
Just a long day and he was one of.. read more
¿

5 Years Ago

No no Rose!! U got me wrong. Actually I meant that man grumpy 😃
Wild Rose

5 Years Ago

Its me > I forgive > Kisses to take out the hurt
No it didn't hurt > kisses any way

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494 Views
9 Reviews
Rating
Added on April 13, 2018
Last Updated on April 13, 2018
Tags: "Going Home" "Bus" "journey"

Author

Wild Rose
Wild Rose

Lake Disrtict, Cumbria, United Kingdom



About
BA (Hons)Management studies Open University Full tech Cert. Marine: Aviation & Industrial Instrumentation and Conrtol Retired engineering lecturer Ex racing cyclist: fell walker: Camper more..

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