Stranded

A bit of a promising start. I'm leaving notes.

I like the name Lauren, and I liked how all the kids have similar names (Lauren, Ryan, Dylan), but this can be awkward. It's easy to mix similar names up, and it can sound repetitive, but it shouldn't pose too much of a problem.

And for the record, I know how terrible car rides with little siblings can be!

Posted 16 Years Ago

Kinda funny Lauren, cuz in 3rd I was jealous of you, and then in fourth grade I adored you and always wanted to be as good as you.

Posted 16 Years Ago

GOSH!!!!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR Im mad!!! jk, jk, u r the awesomeist writer ever!!! (other than Tolkien) lol ok, and ya, i was like totally jelous of you in 4th grade!!!!!

Posted 16 Years Ago

Today she would be flying or...something a little more compact. think about it . today was going to be the day ... sort of redundant, but i'm hooked, give us more. remember, after your first draft to look for things like that. you find so many useless words that will not drive the story forward. {is that too much? lol, i usually just say... yah it's great, and go on, but i thought i would take a chance and say something you might actually find useful later on in rewrite}

Posted 16 Years Ago