Hunt for Archiemundas Act 1 scene 2

Continuing Hunt for Archiemundas Act 1 scene 1

Scene 2:

 

(In what appears to be an Old Temple, Estacus and several guards stand around laughing to each other.)

 

Estacus: And so I told the holy man that if there is anyone foolish enough to put an unclean goats bladder on an alter; he has my permission to sacrifice me at next years festival! [Everyone laughs loudly].

 

(A guard rushes in from stage left with a parchment.)

 

Estacus: What is this?  [Estacus states as the guard hands him the parchment.]  So it would seem that Zeus has descended from Mount Olympus and has charged…Archiemundas with a QUEST?

 

Guard 1:  Archiemundas?  But why?  He will assuredly fail.

 

Estacus:  Yes I know, and it would seem, according to this, that he is searching for the Legendary Dinner Fork of Chronos!

 

Guard 2:  At least the gods had the foresight to not charge Archiemundas with an important task.

 

Estacus:  All of the God’s tasks are important…Even ones as trifling as this.

 

Guard 2:  If Archiemundas where to get this object…

 

Estacus: I know.  The greatest bumbler of our time would have an artifact of great power, but…to defy the God’s wish.

 

Guard 1:  Even more importantly, how did we get this information?

 

Estacus: Silence!  [he states throwing the parchment to the ground.]  I sent a rider to the Oracle at Delphi to have it interpret a dream for me.  In my dream a God who came from a machine delivered this parchment to me.  The Oracle sent back word that my dream meant a Guard would come to me delivering a parchment and then leave the temple. [Estacus looks at the Guard who delivered the paper.  Pauses for a moment] Well clairvoyance isn’t one hundred percent, I guess.

 

Guard 3:  That’s still not bad!

 

Estacus: I’ve decided.  Even though it seems foolish to us, the gods have greater wisdom then we, and so we must aid this…

 

Guard 2: Archiemundas?

 

Estacus: Yes, but I was trying to avoid saying his name.  You know, the curse and all.  [the guards all node in agreement.]  So we must help this…MAN [guards all smile in approval, nodding there heads again] seek what he is looking for.  Do we know where he is heading now?

 

All the guards: No!

 

Estacus:[thinking for a moment] Oh, check the parchment!

 

Guard 1: Yes!  It says here that he is on his way to an old temple, much like this one, to discover a clue to the location of the dinner fork, in Arcadia.

 

Estacus: Excellent! Prepare my riding horse and a caravan of gifts that will aid…HIM in his quest.  Also prepare a sacrifice for the God from the Machine, he has helped uncover more of this plot then I first expected he would.

 

 

[all exit stage right]

 

Narrator:  And so Estacus, the wise and benevolent ruler of Attica, heads out on a mission to help a worthless little man.  Who at that very moment had arrived in Arcadia in an old temple, that remarkably looked identical to the temple Estacus had been in only moments before.

 

[Archiemundas enters stage right]

 

Archiemundas: Hello?  Anyone here?

 

A voice from stage left:  Yes, who is it?

 

Archiemundas:  My name is Archiemundas, and I’ve been sent here in search of the Legendary Dinner Fork of Chronos.

 

Necrylius:[Enters stage left whipping his hands with a towel] What?

 

Archiemundas:  I’m after clues in my search for the Dinner Fork of Chronos.

 

Necrylius:  The Legendary Dinner Fork of Chronos?

 

Archiemundas: Yes, the Legendary Dinner Fork of Chronos!

 

Necrylius: Because if you want the Dinner Fork of Chronos, I have it right here [digs a fork out of his pocket].

 

Archiemundas: That’s the Legendary Dinner Fork of Chronos? [He says crossing over to Necrylius and taking the fork].

 

Necrylius: No, that’s the Dinner Fork of Chronos, the LEGENDARY Dinner Fork of Chronos has been lost for centuries.

 

Archiemundas: [drops the fork and crosses his arms] So where is the LEGENDARY Dinner Fork of Chronos?

 

Necrylius: Well I don’t know, that’s why I said it has been lost for centuries.

 

Archiemundas: Oh, you’re no help.

 

Narrator: And apparently you don’t catch the subtle meaning behind the phrase, “LOOKING for clues.”

 

Archiemundas: Are you going to bother me through this whole story?

 

Narrator: Only until you manage to succeed at something…Or until the final scene of act three, which ever comes first.

 

Necrylius: Curious voice from the sky aside, I am a world renowned artifact hunter and relic acquirer, and could take you to Asine, where it’s said that the fork was last seen.

 

Archiemundas: No, that wouldn’t help at all.

 

Narrator: Oh, my gods!

 

Necrylius: Well you’re probably right, hey what about the old books I have in the back on the history of the fork?

 

Narrator: Please…

 

Archiemundas: No, books are silly and often useless.  I think I’ll just go to Corinth.

 

Necrylius: Of course the worldly merchants and exotic travelers there will surely have heard something.

 

Archiemundas: YOU’RE RIGHT! They’ll just want to bore me with their long stories of far off lands.  How about Athens?

 

Necrylius: Their great thinkers should be able to come up with some ideas.

 

Archiemundas: [groans] They’ll just try to argue with me about how Aesop won’t be remembered by people thousands of years from now nearly as well as Aeschylus, but Aesop will I say!

 

Narrator: That doesn’t count as not screwing up!

 

Archiemundas: Sparta?

 

Necrylius: Perhaps in their wars they’ve seen it?

 

Archiemundas: Great a bunch of Olympic rejects talking about how if they hadn’t pulled that muscle they’d have been a triathlon champion.  Yeah, I’ll fit in there nicely. Delphi?

 

Necrylius: The Oracle?

Archiemundas: Zeus, please help me!

 

Necrylius: Look why don’t you just go to Apollonia? 

 

Archiemundas: I see no problems there. Well it was good meeting you, perhaps you’d like to accompany me on my journey?

 

Necrylius: [looking frightened] NO! [Pausing to calm himself] I mean, I have to finish cleaning this goat’s bladder for my offering tonight and, boy, it’s a messy one, so I’d only hold you up here.

 

Archiemundas: Well I suppose you’re right, well I’m off. [Exits stage lefts…sound of a squishing noise].

 

Necrylius: MY GOATS BLADDER!

 

[sitting down on the floor as the sound of a door slams. He begins to rub his head, suddenly the sound of lightning crashes and Zeus enters stage right. Necrylius falls backwards in].

 

Zeus: Where is Archiemundas?

 

Necrylius: You mean that was THE Archiemundas?

 

Zeus: Yes.

 

Necrylius: I thought he was just some fool who hadn’t changed his name to something sensible, like Alligatorasriderus…He went out the back door.

 

Zeus: Thank you [Begins to head off stage left, then stops looking disgusted] Argh!  It looks like someone stepped in a goats bladder, and then whipped his boot on your alter.

 

Necrylius: What more could go wrong today?

 

[The sound of a horse replies and Estacus enters stage right]

 

Estacus: [looking down at Necrylius, and not yet noticing Zeus.]  Where is the one known as Archiemundas?  I seek to aid him in his quest.

 

Zeus: Who are you?

 

Estacus: [now noticing Zeus falls to his knees] Oh mighty lord, I am Estacus, leader of the Atticans, and when first I heard that you had charged Archiemundas with finding the Dinner Fork of Chronos…

 

Necrylius: [picking up the dinner fork and waving it at Estacus] The Legendary Dinner Fork of Chronos.

 

Estacus: I decided to aid him in his holy quest [looks up, and gets a disgusted look on his face] Is that a goats bladder?

 

Necrylius: Yes I know. He whipped his boot on the alter. [Zeus nods somberly].

 

Estacus: It looks like he also spilled some wine on your clothes. [Zeus looks again and nods as Estacus moves closer to Zeus to get a better look]

 

Necrylius: Why didn’t he just use the front door? I’d be angrier if I didn’t know he was heading far, far away.

 

Zeus: To where?

 

Estacus: Yes I must aid him.

 

Zeus: And I must point him back towards Asine…and punish you for letting your alter be desecrated.

 

Necrylius: That settles it.  I must get revenge on Archiemundas.

 

Zeus: Just as long as he returns to Thessaly with the Dinner Fork of Chronos first.

 

Necrylius: The Legendary Dinner Fork of Chronos.

 

Estacus: Look let’s just go catch-up with Archiemundas and then we’ll discuss who does what first.  I personally just don’t want an idiot running around with the Dinner Fork of Chronos.

 

Zeus: Legendary Dinner Fork of Chronos.

 

Necrylius: Fine we’ll team up until he’s finished his quest, then Zeus will be happy, because he’ll have completed it, I’ll get to have my revenge, and Estacus will be happy because he can take the damn fork.

 

Zeus and Estacus: Agreed.

 

Narrator: Funny how they grasped the situation so quickly. [as the Narrator speaks the characters begin to head to stage left then with a disgusted looks, exit stage right]

 

Narrator: Well at least no ones wondering why these two different temples look identical and how Estacus got here so fast.

 

Reviews

[Vanessa Whiteley]

I think this needs tightening. These descriptions sound a little awkward and could do with tightening.

Scene 2:

(In what appears to be an Old Temple (a) Estacus and several guards stand around laughing to each other. Estacus holds a goblet which he spills on a regular basis, on himself.)

I suggest something like:

Scene 2: A, seemingly, old temple. Estacus and several guards stand around laughing. Estacus holds a goblet. He keeps spilling the contents on himself.


Estacus: And so I told the holy man that if there is anyone foolish enough to put an unclean goats bladder on an alter, he has my permission to sacrifice me at next years festival! [Everyone laughs (I�d cut the again) loudly].

Again I�d trim and maybe change directions a little. As this is a drama facial expressions are often best left for the actor to decide and should be indicated by the action. Don�t think you need capitals � trust your writing.

(A guard rushes in stage left. He carries a parchment that he hands to Estacus.)

Estacus: What is this? (He takes a moment to read the paper.] So it would seem that Zeus has descended from Mount Olympus and has charged Archiemundas with a quest?

You have inverted your words here and it doesn�t add anything.


Guard 2: At least the gods had the foresight to not charge Archiemundas with an important task.

Guard 2: At least the gods had the foresight not to charge Archiemundas with an important task.


Do you mean were rather than where? You have already indicated that the Guard is interrupted I don�t think you need to state that. I think you have too many stage directions and it gets confusing.

Estacus: All of the God�s tasks are important�Even ones as trifling as this.

Guard 2: If Archiemundas where to get this object�

Estacus: [Interrupting the Guard] I know. The greatest bumbler of our time would have an artifact of great power, but [taking a moment to consider his words] to defy the God�s wish.

Perhaps, something like this:


Estacus: All of the God�s tasks are important�Even ones as trifling as this.

Guard 2: If Archiemundas were to get this object�

Estacus: I know. The greatest bumbler of our time would have an artifact of great power, but � to defy the God�s wish.


Again to much stage and unnecessary stage direction. For example why he states when you have already denoted Estacus is speaking. When you have a lot of directions it might help to separate the information or use ellipsis. Some of the dialogue seems convoluted too. Also, you have a typo on nod.


Guard 1: Even more importantly, how did we get this information?

Estacus: Silence! [he states throwing the parchment to the ground. Then paces a moment before turning to Guard 1]. I sent a rider to the Oracle at Delphi to have it interpret a dream for me. In my dream a God who came from a machine delivered this parchment to me. The Oracle sent back word that my dream meant a Guard would come to me delivering a parchment and then leave the temple. [Estacus looks at the Guard who delivered the paper. Pauses for a moment] Well clairvoyance isn�t one hundred percent, I guess.

Guard 3: That�s still not bad!

Estacus: I�ve decided. Even though it seems foolish to us, the gods have greater wisdom then we, and so we must aid this [the word seems stuck in his mouth]

Guard 2: Archiemundas?

Estacus: Yes, but I was trying to avoid saying his name. You know, the curse and all. [the guards all node in agreement.] So we must help this�MAN [guards all smile in approval, nodding there heads again] seek what he is looking for. Do we know where he is heading now?

I suggest:

Guard 1: Even more importantly, how did we get this information?

Estacus: Silence! [throws parchment to the ground, paces a moment, turns to Guard 1]. I sent a rider to the Oracle at Delphi. I wanted to have it interpret a dream. In my dream a God who came from a machine delivered this parchment to me. The Oracle replied my dream meant a Guard would come to me delivering a parchment and then leave the temple. [Estacus looks at the Guard. Pauses for a moment] Well clairvoyance isn�t one hundred percent, I guess.

Guard 3: That�s still not bad!

Estacus: I�ve decided. Even though it seems foolish to us, the gods have greater wisdom. We must aid this�

Guard 2: Archiemundas?

Estacus: Yes, but I was trying to avoid saying his name. You know, the curse and all. [the guards all nod in agreement.] So we must help this�MAN seek what he is looking for. Do we know where he is heading now?

I like the:

Narrator: And so Estacus the wise and benevolent ruler of Attica heads out on a mission to help a worthless little man. Who at that very moment had arrived in Arcadia in an old temple, that remarkably looked identical to the temple Estacus had been in only moments before.

and I also like:

Archiemundas: That�s the legendary Dinner Fork of Chronos? [He says crossing over to Necrylius and taking the fork].

Necrylius: No, that�s the Dinner Fork of Chronos, the LEGENDARY Dinner Fork of Chronos has been lost for centuries.

But again you are stating the obvious we know whose speaking. I suggest:

Archiemundas: That�s the legendary Dinner Fork of Chronos? [Crosses over to Necrylius - takes the fork].

Necrylius: No, that�s the Dinner Fork of Chronos, the LEGENDARY Dinner Fork of Chronos has been lost for centuries.


Be careful with your spacing there are a couple of places where you need a gap between speakers.


Necrylius: Well I don�t know, that�s why I said it has been lost for centuries.
Archiemundas: Oh, you�re no help.

Like here:

Necrylius: The Oracle?[Necrylius is clearly flabbergasted].
Archiemundas:[lifting his hands to the sky] Zeus, please help me!


spelling error on artifact you mean artefact.

I think this will be a lot stronger once you�ve revised a little but of course these are just suggestions to take or leave as you see fit.

[Rye]

WOW!! lots of imagery and lots of descriptiveness. I think you did a good job. I write stage plays a lot. This held my attention.

[Steven Silvey]

Another funny and interesting scene.
It is full of typos, but they could be fixed pretty easily.
Looking forward to act one scene three.

[Gary H]

Overall I thought the humour was a lot more concise than the first part. Rather than pick up on any particular section I thought this was a light-hearted romp overall and is moving at a fast pace to the next act.
Difficult to really analyse without all the parts together though. Keep going and work with the same elements that are going well.
Good work.