Lofty Voice

when the voice of sanity calls upon

Think .. be sane

Blink .. open your eyes

Get out of the rain

Be sane .. be sane

" Leave me alone … lofty voice

You want me safe.. but I have no choice

Am dragged down there

Where darkness is the light

And hope!! Slaughtered a thousand times

Where tears nourish trees of despair

And pain arouses from nowhere

Its calling me, a louder voice

Ugly fears have left no choice"

Think .. be sane

"Meaningless call … lofty voice..

Am following another voice

One who's destroying the ability

To believe.. to feel .. any sanity

Leave me alone to another fool

Leave.. be cruel

I've already seen the beginning and the end of the duel..

 

Reviews

[Lonesome Traveler]

This has all the feelings of a power struggle that is tragically unbalanced, one sided.
One thing I would change is the use of voice in the second line of the last stanza, for me it is a slightly jarring after being at the end of the previous line.
A lovely piece though, thanks for sharing :)

[Dalia]

I'll consider changing that
but thanks glad you like it :)

[Hadeel ( Charming Fairy..]

Dalia !!! you are getting so much better and better :)

[Dalia]

you think so !
I hope :P

[Hadeel ( Charming Fairy )]

:*

[poetry-kiddo alienbaba]

I feel the pain.
Grant you strength!

[Dalia]

it does sometimes, thank you.

[poetry-kiddo alienbaba]

yes

[Frieda P]

I am related to this, I know it well. Dug right into my soul and churned it over a few times. Skyscrapers are always a difficult ascent, take the stairs slowly, tiny baby steps. Love this.

[Dalia]

I just love how you described it, thank you for reading and reviewing, your words means a lot to me :)

[Frieda P]

Was my pleasure definitely. ;-)

[MOON]

Poignant write , out of control. Lovely write

[Dalia]

glad you think so Moon, my honor :)

[Holly Mason]

really enjoyed the feeling of this piece thank you much for sharing

[Dalia]

glad you did :)

[Indiana Adame]

This reminds me a lot of my problems with anxiety and how it often feels like a power struggle between me and my brain. I really like the way you put that all into words, it's really evocative and intense. An excellent read!

[Dalia]

Thank you Indiana
glad you related to it, am ever so humbled

[Night]

"Where tears nourish trees of despair
And pain arouses from nowhere"......my favorite line. I loved this write, powerful in it's simplicity and truth...needed to hear this, thank you my friend...God bless you...=)

...maybe, 'arises' instead of 'arouses'...might work better...=)

[Dalia]

thank you Night :)
I'll consider the change you mentioned
Always my pleasure to read your reviews

[Night]

...you're very welcome...=)

[Deron Alexis]

i think the key to find a possible interpretation is to find your possibility from a first few lines and apply the others to that theory i think this poem is about protectiveness the fine line between being fenced in and having dangers fenced out either way i liked it twas good to read from you

[Dalia]

one of the ideas that roamed in my head while writing this was what you just mentioned, my pleasure you liked it :)

[Annabelle Lee]

it bounces around a bit. not sure if that was your intention... but the reader doesnt really get much time to focus on anything.
I believe what you were trying to say overall... about the voices in your head battling each other and making you crazy, was excellent... And in that sense I guess the confusion and the jumping around made mor sense. I myself am just not accustomed to pices such as this.

[Dalia]

Exactly Annabelle, the feeling of being confused and a bit lost was the theme here, thanks for reading and reviewing.