I Felt The Dagger

Being back stabbed

We use to get along

then things turned wrong

Its nothing more than

I can say,

but I gotta let

you know

I felt the dagger

when you stabbed 

my heart

you didn't even

think twice;

I felt the dagger 

stab me in the back

thanks a lot old foe

I felt the dagger,

yes I did

and it hurts

the dagger

tore me apart

it makes me

seem so less

ahead,

Then I felt the dagger 

stab me

over and over 

again

I felt the dagger 

pierce through 

my skin

making my heart

grow cold

I felt the dagger in me 

Author's Note

I know this isn't how I usually write, but I wanted to try something different. Does it work?

Reviews

[quinfinn]

somehow, the repetition of the words "i felt the dagger" bring this whole sordid thing to life. the pain of being backstabbed is beautifully illustrated herein. i think you would do well to explore this style of writing more...relax your mind and write from the heart, it is your best venue.

[Tasha]

Thank you so much Quinfinn, that really means a lot.

[Fuego31]

I like it. It's got that constant to-the-point feel that never lets you forget what's going on.

[Tasha]

Thank you very much for the review, I really appreciate it.

[Adam :P]

trying things differnet sometimes turns out better i liked it, good write

[Tasha]

I'm glad you like it, thanks for the review

[Maila]

OMG, I just wrote a poem with the words heart and dagger in it before I found your profile with this poem, and wow!
It's beautiful, especially the format. Check mine out too, like I said we have a lot in common ;)

[Tasha]

It would be my honor, thank you so much for the review.

[MindCage]

I some times feel a dagger in my back, and sometimes im the one plunging it.

[Tasha]

Sometimes I feel that way too

[NathanBlackie]

I like it, it's got a lyrical quality to it. plus it's easy to read and pretty easy to understand and relate too... good job.

[Tasha]

Thank you so much Nathan.

[NathanBlackie]

no problem.

[Tasha]

Thanks s lot I appreciate it. :)

[David the writer]

It does work, very good

[Tasha]

Thanks so much for the review Dracula.

[Matty Bosox]

Tasha, if you were looking to try something different let me just say....You should try something different more often...This is so close to excellence...The only complaint is that it is kinda too simple...But maybe for some readers, that is half the beauty of it...Certain readers can't interpret certain words and this is as straight as Robin Hoods arrow to the point as you can get...Your interpretation of deception is quiet simple but oh so beautifully macabre and excellently wicked...Your words are as sharp as a katana and hit like an anvil!!! Very good stuff...Simple, yet powerful, very, very powerful...Good job Tasha

[Tasha]

Thank you so much Matty, that means so much since I don't have so much time to write anymore. I really appreciate it. Thanks so much again for taking the time to review it. :)

[Matty Bosox]

For not having much time to write I could just imagine what you could write with the time...It was my pleasure Tasha

[Tasha]

Thanks again!

[Maggie]

This happens too often. I too trust the wrong people. They backstab as they claim that they are the victim and yet they were the ones that started it all.. Either way it hurts.

[Tasha]

Thank you for the review Maggie!!

[Red]

God, how I know this feeling all too well. My biggest blunder seems to be trusting the wrong people. You do everything you can for them, yet end up getting stabbed in the back regaurdless. To make things worse, as your poem points out, the people who stab you in the back tend to stab more than once as if to make sure they've got you good and plenty. This poem stands out to me a lot due to resent events in my life. It's well written and you did a good job with word choice. It was well worth the read.
-Red

[Tasha]

Thank you so much for the review Red. That is my biggest blunder as well...trusting the wrong people. I agree with everything you said. It hurts getting back stabbed by the people you want to help the most. Thanks again!