Tortured Soul

It's not supposed to hurt this much

They say love is happiness

and joy and everything you could ever want

Liars!

You've lied to me

I've lied to me!

I can't take it anymore

I want it to end

It shouldn't hurt to love someone

not like this

not to the point where my mind

shatters and glues itself together again

I can't do it anymore

I don't want to look at you

and not tell you what I feel

it kills me every day not to tell you

but I'm so afraid

It's too early...

but love finds the room to grow

and I want to say it

I really do!

But I...I... 

I just can't

It hurts more to say it

My heart can't take that kind of pain

not again

Not the endless longing

Not the agony of regret

I hate what I feel for you

I hate the fear I have to not speak it

I hate...hate it all

I love you.

Author's Note

And I hate that I can never say it. I've taken that risk too many times already...