Malice

We all need those relationships so we can learn from our mistakes

You tried to break her down into minuscule paper fragments,
And it worked,
For a while.
You pretended you did not know what you were doing,
But you knew.
Who are you?
No talent she had,
No breakage from sad,
No empathy to her,
Only cruel words to slur.
You owned her for such a while,
Although not with love,
Instead, with melancholy.
You grazed her heart with your cruel malice tongue, without any desire to stop the bleeding.
But the depressed angel, you once remarked with ignorance,
Has now ascended higher and stronger through the trees,
Than you ever imagined.

Author's Note

A very personal poem of a toxic relationship I was once in with a seasoned manipulator.

Reviews

[Dr. YumnaKay]

I think some people like manipulating others to get this strong feeling of power which is like a drug to them. I've had a similar experience in the past but as soon as I came to know I was being manipulated, I returned the favour. So, in a way, I've been the manipulator too. Although not on my gain but as revenge..

You've portrayed this beautifully. It casts a clear picture on the reader.
Nicely penned and a powerful read for me.😊👍

[Isabella Ivy]

You clearly have a vivid understanding of how such relationships work, using emotion long before the fist. This is a brilliant piece :) You were successful in making your reader feel what it was like to be there. Congratulations! I.I.

[aLittlePain]

Killer good close! I love the power in those lines. Very nicely crafted. We can rise victorious through the storm. Changed but stronger than before. Such seasons of life are character building journeys. Brilliant crafting and word choice. Regards Ray

[Danie]

Thank you I'm glad you enjoyed it ☺️

[CK_85]

This poem is a bit close to home for me, as I was in a toxic relationship that caused some bad trauma (like my belief that love doesn't exist, and that the things needed to continue a good relationship are contradictory, etc etc.). Regardless, enough about me, and more about the poem. The poem gives a very clear, strong, and imagery-filled message. I always love that in writing, when I can visualize what's happening in great detail. The ending was great, as Asante has stated. The one thing that threw me off was "stronger through the trees". Why the trees? Why not something taller? Perhaps it means that you still have room for growth, and it's a reference to the little paper fragments you once were. If it is the latter, then fantastic job on being able to think of all that. If it isn't, the English education in the US is getting to me. Overall, fantastic writing!

[Danie]

Wow thank you so much for this thouroughly thought out response. I feel toxic relationships are more commonplace than people think, and a lot are hidden from view. I am sorry you went through the same thing. Also to the last comment about the trees.. no I did not actually think of that! That's amazing that you picked up on that and thank you for pointing it out. ☺️ I actually put trees because we used to spend a lot of time around the countryside, sitting under trees talking. So it was a mere reference to the surroundings. ☺️ Can I just ask what you mean about the English education getting to you?☺️

[CK_85]

In the United States, you spend ages 5-10 learning how to properly write paragraphs and essays for your future academic career. Between 10 and 14 you add in some basic grammar concepts (your vs you're, there their and they're, etc). Then 14-18 you basically read books and do paragraph or essay responses to them. Most students feel that these responses are complete and utter bullshit, as they analyze the tiniest things. The teachers ask the students to describe the symbolism of something in a chapter, when the chapter was basically describing what happened. Take Romeo and Juliet for example. Act 2, Scene 2, Lines 46-47, "What's in a name? That which we call a rose/By any other word would smell as sweet." -Juliet. Clearly this line just means that Romeo is still a good, lovable person, even if he is a Montague. A standard writing assignment could be something like:

"Write an essay that describes and analyzes the symbolism that flowers have in the second act of Romeo and Juliet. Cite 3 examples and elaborate on how they are all interconnected."

After 4 years of doing bullshit like that, I've learned to make very subtle connections between just about anything in prose and poetry. Authors have even commented on this sort of symbol/literary device hunting. The general consensus among authors is that the educators are crazy. Here's a great article that demonstrates what I mean in further detail: http://mentalfloss.com/article/30937/famous-novelists-symbolism-their-work-and-whether-it-was-intentional

[Danie]

The English education system is exactly the same in a way! Fascinating how much nonsense they push into our heads. I do think it is good to analyse things, but over analysing things to completely lose the point of something is a problem so I agree entirely with what you've said. From an early age we've been taught to decipher meanings in different things such as "why was the curtain blue" , the teacher would expect you to comment something like "the curtain was blue to show the characters upset and disstain at life" the author could have been doing this, but could have also just liked the colour blue? Anyway thanks for the interesting thoughts. I'll have to give that article a read in my own time as it's bed time now haha.

[CK_85]

"Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar." -Sigmund Freud

[Asante]

In my mind, this ended strongly. I got into this and enjoyed it from beginning to end. You used a lot of words that are pretty typical of words that I may use; the writing style is similar, and I won't lie in saying that put a little smile on my face.

Overall, a fine write here. Simple, but graceful, as well as one that I could to relate to.

On a side note - Hey!

[Danie]

Thank you I'm glad you could relate! Also, hello back! ☺️

[Paul Bell]

I suppose this is a great learning curve. Now you know what to look for.

[Danie]

Yes exactly! Thank you for reading, Paul. 😊

[Phill Oz O'fee]

Excellent poetic journey from victim to victor - always sad to learn the hard way - but coming out stronger is a good thing!

[Danie]

Thank you! You understood the poem perfectly. It was in no way an expression of love or the love we once had, but more so my journey. Thank you for commenting and I'm glad you enjoyed it!☺️

[Phill Oz O'fee]

Kudos my friend