Lucid

A Story by Danna Castro

I started staggering down the street, looking for some sort of miracle to come around the corner. I found myself taking a seat on a worn out park bench instead, but like some sort of stupid soap opera character, I do look around the corner and try to look for something to come along and save me from this endless nightmare. I haven't been with any of my friends for the past week and it's different. I told myself that I could live without them (something that i thought was true) but obviously I was wrong. I receive the nth message from my friend Caleb which I pretend not to mind, but the thought that someone is thinking of me provoke me to read the first few lines. He was looking for me, that's nice to know. I didn't really care if people worry or are scared for me, I know they're just trying to make it look that way but deep inside I know they really don't care.

"What a day, eh?" The old man next to said in a slightly hesitant manner. I nodded in response but really didn't want to have a conversation with an old man about my day, so I moved to the other bench. Across me there was the lake, An endless, flowing reminder of all the good times I had with my brother. We loved this lake, it wasn't clean or filled with ducks or anything, it's just a better view than the smog filled skyline outside the apartment.

I looked around and saw that there was no one but the old man reading the obituary column of the newspaper. I stood up and took a better look at the filthy lake. I went over the border, like how my brother did back in the days. I sat down on said border and took a deep breath in. I watched the sun set and watched the misty evening take it's place in the horizon.

I tucked my hair behind my ear and let the dusty wind blow on my now pale face. It was cold. That's all I know. It's been cold for the past couple of months after my brother's death, and it became even colder as i lost my four friends. I felt my phone vibrate and there was Caleb. I swiped to answer the call and heard a few huffs of air before a frantic medley of words came about.

"What are you doing? I can see you! Get down from there!" He said in the melodic tone of panic. I felt a tear roll down my cheek and opened my mouth to let some words out, but none came.

I stand up on the thin cement coated border and turned around to see a frantic Caleb charging towards me. I drew the phone to my face and whispered "Goodbye."

I let gravity pull me down as I let my knees get weak under me, and for a slight second I felt numb, before a distraught arm found its way around my waist. I let myself get weak and heavy but to no avail since the panic-stricken Caleb has pulled me safety.

"Are you insane, what were you thinking?" He said in a somewhat loud overtone dubbed with the sound of him holding back his tears. I looked at him straight in the eyes and blinked once. He took me in a warm embrace but I didn't return the favor as I watched the old man with the newspaper shake his head at me.

I gathered my courage and sat up, looking straight at him, but not saying a word. "How'd you know where I am?" I asked him under my breath.

"I didn't." He said in reply.

"Then how did you know I was going to jump?" I asked him in the same muffled tone.

"I didn't." he said once again.

"Then why are you here?" I asked him with more anger in my voice.

"I'm not. Ayah, we don't care." He said before he transitioned away.

Just like that I was standing again, looking at the still setting sun. I turned around and saw no one. Not the old man, no Caleb and now, no me. I let gravity pull me into reality and let myself fall into the warm embrace of the lake. I watched my hands flow in front of me, and my eyes wandered around and saw that still, no one was there. I plunged into the murky grey of the lake and inhaled the pungent aroma of my silent death. I gave myself a dream come true and whispered my last words.

"No one cares."