A Moment of Silence

Sitting alone in the dark,
For a moment of silence and peace,
From the people who surround you...

Trying not to feel guilty for your moment,
In which you have been taught as selfishness...

Trying to escape the emptiness that consumes you,
Created by the person who says he loves you,
Makes you feel...

Even when he is standing right next to you,
A feeling of darkness and aloneness lingers...

A simple touch,
A stroke of your hair,
A kiss on your lips,
You still feel as if evil intentions are so deep within him,
That he does not see them himself,
But you know he has to feel their presence...

And your thoughts racing through your mind,
Make you feel as if you were punched full force in the stomach,
Wishing you were because the pain would be so less,
And would end within days instead of an eternity...

That one moment that was suppose to be a moment of silence,
Turned into a moment of selfishness,
Taught by the person who stands beside you,
But does not stand beside you at all...

The one who almost doesn't exist,
The one who is wrapped up in his own selfishness,
To the point he makes others feel as he is...

At that moment,
You realize your thoughts,
The thoughts that are racing through your head,
To the point that you no longer know what you are feeling,
You are then numb...

You wonder if it is another trick his mind is playing with yours,
Is it intentional? Or not? Does it even matter?
He is still playing with your emotions either way...

That moment of silence and peace,
Is no longer silent or peaceful,
But cruel and painful...

You can't help but wonder once again,
How to escape the emptiness and confusion that consumes you...

And you ask yourself...

Do I continue to try to escape for a moment?
Or do I leave the moment behind me...for a chance of many moments?

Author's Note

I wrote this about 2 years or so ago. This was right before I ended my 18 year relationship. I was trying to say with this one that a person can be so selfish and not even realize it. I was also trying to say that after so much damage is done by a person you start to wonder if they are intentionally do things to hurt you. Although now I don't believe that was the case at all, that is how I was feeling at that time with everything that was going on in my life.