My lips trembled as I stared at the point of the syringe. A single bead of serum swelled at the tip, brimmed over, and escaped, sliding down the shaft of the needle… I opened my mouth slightly to exhale. Just the sight of such a thing was enough to get my heart pounding. My tongue traced intricately over my slightly chapped lips, hungry with anticipation.

            My hand shook as I moved the intoxicating substance toward my right arm. I laid the syringe down just long enough to backhand the inside top of my forearm, exposing the vein that was already swelled by the lack of circulation. I leaned down just enough to grab the cloth strip tied around my arm, between my teeth. My head tilted back, tightening the strap, as my hand found the syringe. The point touched my skin and slowly broke through the layers before getting to the vein. I gasped as I injected the remains of the sweet poison into my vein.

            The syringe fell from my hand as I released the strap. I fell backward, into the warmth of the couch, as my body began violently convulsing. The euphoria pumped through my veins quickly as my heartbeat rapidly increased. My breathing suddenly stopped as my eyes forced themselves closed. That was it. I was gone. Floating away without a care as all the stress of life stayed behind. None of my highs had been this immaculate.

            “Joey,” a phantom voice called. “Joseph!” Two warm hands grasped my shoulders, violently shaking me from my nirvana.

            As my eyes snapped open, I met hers. “Mariah,” I gasped.

            A nervous, cautious smile crossed her face. “B-baby…” my love shook her head slowly. “I thought I lost you.” Mariah wrapped her arms around my neck as I closed my eyes once again. The ceiling spun above me, but my girlfriend remained still, locked against me.

            “Mmm,” I moaned as I hugged her. My veins still throbbed with the heroine. “I’m fine.”

            Mariah pulled away from me, frowning. Her brow furrowed in concentration. “You promised.”

            I smiled drunkenly. “You took too long.”

            She nodded behind the couch, toward the kitchen. “Grocery store was packed. Payday for a lot of people.”

            “But you’re here now.” My arms squeezed her against me, pulling her back down to me. “Ready to join me?” I whispered into her ear.

            Mariah’s soft breath tickled my ear as she contemplated my question. “You’re done?”

            “I’m done,” I breathed. “I’m just waiting for you now, baby.”

My heart continued to race as my girlfriend sat back up, extending her arm. With as much of a smile as I could manage, I joined her, wincing as the room spiraled crazily around me. The couch was rocking, but Mariah didn’t seem to notice as she tightened the tourniquet above her forearm. I reached out, wrapping my fingers around her wrist in silent encouragement as she tapped the syringe.

With her eyes closed, her right hand guided the syringe up her left arm. She swallowed hard as the tip of the needle traced up her forearm, up the vein. When the syringe reached its destination, Mariah plunged the tip into her skin, quickly piercing the bulging vein. She winced.

Even as dizzy as I was, I could tell it had gone wrong. I pulled her to me by her wrist, just as convulsions began. The syringe fell to the floor with a sick, loud thud as her heart started beating quickly, louder than possible, but her breathing immediately slowed. Mariah gasped, trying to keep up with her heart’s rapid pace as her muscles continued to convulse. I hugged her body to me, trying to keep her stable as everything around us continued moving.

Mariah’s gasps turned to desperate attempts to take in a breath as her face began paling. Her eyes opened, milky, and immediately connected with mine. She shook her head, fighting the convulsions, maintaining eye contact with me.

“Joey…” she gasped, tilting her head back to try to open her airway. “Joey, I’m sorry…” she managed, tears building up behind her eyelids.

I cradled her head against my shoulder, tears forming as my heroine-induced utopia came spiraling down around me. I was losing her. I was losing my Mariah.

“Shh…” My arms wrapped around her as I tried my hardest not to fall apart. Reality was coming back fast…ready to punch me in the face. I caused this. “Shh, baby… it’s okay… shh…”

“Joe…” she stopped, gasping harder, fighting harder for breath. This was it. She wasn’t going to be able to fight it any longer. Once she caught a choke of air, her eyes connected with mine, and they were cold. Her voice was low, painful, and with my Mariah’s last breath, she softly confessed, “I don’t love you.”

Mariah’s eyes closed gently. Her gasps came to an end. Her heart stopped pounding. It was over. It was over…