Toby clicked off his radio as I entered his make-shift shop he had set up in the garage. His warm smile greeted me. “Hey, you.”

            “Hi,” I approached him slowly, dragging my feet on the concrete.

            His smile immediately turned to a frown as he navigated through the wood carvings to reach me. “What’s up…?” His hand rested gently on my cheek, forcing me to look into his eyes.

            “I…” My gaze focused on the gray floor. C’mon, Jason… you can do this… “I can’t be with you anymore.” I took a step back, looking up at him to see his hand frozen in mid-air, where my cheek had been. His mouth was open slightly and his head had shifted slightly to the left. The pain in his eyes made mine begin to water. “I… I’m sorry…”

            “W-…” He shook his head, dropped his hand, and pierced my eyes with his. “Why?”

            “I… I’m tired of being in a relationship like this…”

            “What?” Toby’s voice began to rise. “Loving? Caring? A real relationship?” His tone had changed from hurt to angry in just a few seconds. “Why, Jason? We’re happy!” he stopped short, his sudden anger replaced by a definite sadness. “…aren’t we?”

            “A relationship I have to hide, Toby…” I sighed, looking back down, unable to face the man that had been nothing but gold to me for the past year. “If I love somebody,” I began, trying to maintain composure. “I wanna be able to show it. I wanna be able to tell my parents… my friends… random strangers… I don’t wanna have to pretend I’m not in love…”

            “Then don’t…” Toby sighed softly, stepping toward me. “Look at me, Jay.”

            My gaze remained on the floor. I had begun counting wood shavings to keep myself from bursting into tears.

            “Jason…” He stepped back away from me and turned, putting his hand on a table I could tell had been carved recently. “Look.” He crouched down so that he was eye-level with the surface of the table. “It has flaws. You see? It’s different.” He traced his hand over the top. “See this edging? It wasn’t supposed to have as many crevices… Just a single one. But it wasn’t quite right until I added another… and another… until they were all there… And to think, the first was an accident.”

            As I began studying the table, a gasp of awe filled the silence of the shop. I crouched on the opposite side of the round table, amazed by the elegance it held. “You made this?”

            Toby ignored my question. “Not every table has to be the same, Jay… Should this table have to hide its real self? Should I have left it without the extra cuts in fear of what other people would think of it? No. I shouldn’t, Jason. And I didn’t. The table wanted to be like this… It wouldn’t be what it is without the edging, don’t you agree?” He managed to catch my gaze, smiling again warmly. “We don’t have to be the same as everybody else.” He stood, and I stood with him, afraid to break the gaze. “C’mere, okay?” Toby took a step toward me, his arms open slightly. “Talk to me, Jay. Tell me what happened… what brought this on? Talk to me, okay?”

            I nodded hesitantly, stepping toward him.

            His arms latched around me. My lover kissed my forehead as I fell gently into his warm frame. “Baby, what happened?”

            “I just…” I took in a ragged breath, still holding back tears. “Everything. Everybody’s always making some remark about ‘queers’ and ‘fags’ and about how we’re going to hell and should be shot, and--”

            “You’re buying that bullshit?” Toby sounded almost disappointed in me. It almost burned.

            “Well… Geez, Toby… At church--”

            “You don’t even like church! You only go because of your stupid parents and their stupid guilt trips… So don’t give me that shit!”

            “Toby, I’m twenty-four!” I objected weakly. “I should be getting married… starting a family… having kids…”

            Toby cocked his head, looking down at me. “You’re gonna pretend you’re someone you’re not just to please other people?” He dropped his arms, pulling back from me. “That’s not my Jason.”

            My boyfriend’s sudden release instantly stung, making me suddenly and irrationally irate. “I’m tired of looking in the mirror and hating what I see, Toby! Who I see! I hate being afraid that someone’s gonna find out about what we have, simply because it’s too strong to hide! I’m tired of worrying about losing my friends and my family over the man I love! I’m tired of being pressured to marry some girl and start a family when all I really wanna do is marry you and spend the rest of my fucking life with you! I’m tired of--!”

            “What?” Toby’s eyes were wide.

            I paused, my rant cut short. “What?”

            “You…” he shook his head, staring at me. “You wanna marry me, Jason?”

            “Oh…” My cheeks began burning as I crossed my arms over my chest uncomfortably. “No, I just… Well… Toby…” I looked up, staring into his deep eyes. “I love you.”

            “Then…” He shook his head, still somewhat shocked. “Baby, trust this. Trust me. Fuck everybody else. As far as I’m concerned, it’s just me and you… okay?”

            I forced a smile, looking back down at the gray floor. “Yeah…”

            Toby leaned over his worktable, flipped the switch on the radio, and turned back to face me. A piano began playing through the stereo speakers. Toby extended his hand to me. “Dance with me? You’ll feel better.”

            I nodded, smiling as I realized everything was peaceful once again, as it usually was, and I accepted his hand. Toby stole a kiss before wrapping his arms around my abdomen. I pressed my body to his as the words of the song began:

            “You’re a fallen star…”

            Toby danced freely, squeezing me against him the entire time. His hands traveled from my lower back down to my thighs, squeezing gently on the way back up. “I love you, Jay.” His lips met mine before slowly traveling down my neck, to my collarbone.

            I managed a moan; my collarbone was my weak spot. “T-Toby…”

            My boyfriend laughed softly, hugging me against him. “What can I say? I know what my baby likes.” His lips pressed to mine once again. “Now come on… you don’t really wanna break up with me, do you?” He tilted my chin up, forcing me to look at him. “Do you?”

Toby was right. I didn’t want to. But it wasn’t about what I wanted. It was what had to be done. As happy as we thought we were, it was wrong… sinful… and it had to stop.

            “Toby--”

            “Just dance with me, Jay.” Seemingly reading my mind, Toby laced his arms around me, keeping me against him as the song continued. “Keep dancing with me.”

            “Toby!” I shoved him back off me, shaking my head. “You can’t… You can’t just keep ignoring this!” My tears broke from my eyelids, flowing as I screamed at my innocent Toby. “You can’t just keep pretending everything’s okay! You can’t just--!”

            “When you smile at me, you know exactly what you do. Baby, don’t pretend, you don’t know it’s true,” Toby stopped singing, but continued smiling, and pressed his forehead to mine. His voice dropped to a soft, sweet whisper as the music seemed to fade in the background. “Cause you can see it when I look at you.”

            I tried to hold back a painful smile as I turned my gaze back to the concrete floor. Why does it have to be this way? Why does it have to end? “Toby…”

            “Yes, Jason?” He wrapped his arms tightly around me, making me fully aware how truly safe I was with him.

            “I…” A sigh escaped my lips as I continued letting tears fall, unsure of what the right decision really was.

            “Baby?” Toby tipped my chin up, planting a soft kiss on my lips. “You what?”

            With a deep sigh, as the tears slowed, I put my hands on his sides, looking back into the eyes I had fallen in love with only a year ago. “I love you, Toby. I wanna be with you… Forever, if you’ll allow it...”

            He smiled, putting his hands on my cheeks. “That’s what I like to hear.” He kissed me, tracing his tongue over my lips gently. His body pressed further against mine, sending tingles up my spine. “I love you, Jay. More than anything.”

            “Is this,” I cleared my throat, ashamed of my childish behavior. “Really gonna be okay?” I hugged him, nearly in tears once again, only of a different kind. “Are people ever gonna accept us?”

            “Maybe. But if they don’t, who cares, right?” He ran his fingers through my hair, keeping me against him. “If they can’t accept us for who we are, why should we care about them? Jay, I like who I am. I’m not changing for them.” He put his hands on my waist, lifting me quickly to sit me on the table I had admired just before. His body slipped between my legs, up against me once more, as his lips found my neck. His voice once again dropped to a soft, sweet whisper. “And, babe… I like who you are too. You wouldn’t take away what I like, would you?” His teeth dug into the side of my neck, producing another moan from my lips.

            “N-no…” I was trembling by now. Toby knew all my weak points and was quick to use them against my objections.

            “That’s my boy.” His hands slipped up underneath my shirt, rubbing up and down my sides and stomach. “I love you, Jason Thomas.” Toby’s arms wrapped around me, pulling me against him. His tongue found its way through my lips and began caressing mine. His hands rubbed over my skin as my breaths became quicker, more rapid. He always knew how to make my blood run hot…

            “I--…” I inhaled, trying to calm my excitement as his lips traveled from my ear to my neck. “I love you too, Toby.” They then moved down to my collarbone. I tilted my head back, moaning as the tingles shot through me again.

            My legs locked around my boyfriend, keeping his front against mine as my hands found his ass and squeezed. He laughed, reaching back to put his hands on my wrists. “Easy, babe. This is all you. I’ve wanted you all damn day.” Toby’s lips once again pressed firmly to mine as he slowly slid my shirt up my chest.

            I pushed him back by the shoulders, took my shirt off myself, tossed it, then grabbed the collar of his, pulling him against me once more. I shoved my lips against his as his arms wrapped back around me. His smile on my lips was encouraging.

            Toby’s hands traveled up my back until they were on my shoulder blades, encouraged by my hands on his lower back. His tongue swirled around mine, making my heart race faster. He bit my lower lip as he gently pulled away.

            I smiled, kissing him as he did so. “Thank you.”

            “For what, babe?” His lips met my collarbone, then my chest, then my stomach as he began crouching before the table.

            My stomach started doing flips as my body began to tingle. “For b-being there, Tob. For being there when I n-needed to come out to somebody…” Toby’s lips cupped the fly of my pants teasingly as my pulse skyrocketed. “F-for loving me when I told you I thought I was in l-love with you instead of m-making fun of me… Thank you for always being so d-damn amazing…”

            Toby smiled, his eyes softening as he began undoing my jeans. “And thank you for being the most amazing boyfriend I’ve ever had.” He kissed my belly button, letting his tongue trace up my stomach before hovering above my waist. “I’ve never wanted to spend my life with anybody else.” His hands slid up my chest as he nuzzled his nose against the bulging fly of my boxers. “I love you, Jason.” He kissed the bulge through my underwear. “I love you so, so much.” Toby’s fingertips dug into my sides as he grabbed the band of my boxers with his teeth. He tugged, exposing my throbbing dick and upper thighs. He stared a moment, smiling, before taking the member into his lips in its entirety.

            I breathed, running my fingers through Toby’s lush black hair. His tongue went to work as my eyes floated back in my head. It was Heaven. Toby knew just what to do in just the places I wanted it. It had always been like that.

            The tip of Toby’s tongue pressed against the head as his irises flicked up to meet mine. The passion in his every move was unbelievable. His lips were warm… his tongue attentive. I fell deeper and deeper into utopia as Toby guided me down against the table, leaving me on my back as he continued to play with me. His hands ran up and down my chest as his lips and tongue worked together in a glorious manner as beads of sweat began to form on my forehead. “Toby…”

            “Shh,” he moaned over my dick, forcing me to tense up. “Mmm…” Toby continued his almost artful act as he squeezed and clawed my thighs. The multiple stimuli were almost enough to drive me completely insane. Instead, Toby’s teeth tugged at my dick, sending me soaring into a pleasure high.

            My member throbbed as Toby served it. Toby’s nails continued digging at my thighs, somehow causing my back to arch. I moaned loudly, assured that no one could hear us from the garage. The man before me didn’t seem to be worried about anything outside of the two of us. It was just us in the garage. It was just us in the world.

            Almost half an hour of intensity passed before Toby let me release. I screamed as I came, unable to breathe, think, or even see as my view instantly blurred. Everything inside me tensed and released at once. The extreme, euphoric, almost painful release seemed to satisfy Toby as he kissed my stomach. “That’s my boy,” he muttered as he slipped my boxers back up for me.

            “T--… Toby…” I breathed, my voice hoarse. I was unable to move, and could barely inhale. I gasped for air as he leaned over me, putting a hand above either of my shoulders, bracing himself against the table.

            “Yes, baby?”

            “Break… nuh uh…” was all I could manage as my head fell back in pure exhaustion.

            Toby’s warm laugh filled my soul. “I know, babe.” His warm lips pressed to mine. “You’re always gonna be mine, baby. You’re my everything.”