The Siren's Call

Sirens are ancient Greek monsters who lured people with their charming voices, and kill them. sirens here stand for all our materialistic wants.

Lead you on

Lead you on

Into an endless pit of void

When you hear our luring voice

You'll have but no choice

to come drifting towards us.

Like a deer prancing into the net

You wouldn't suspect

Our sweet song will lead you to your death 

O hear the sirens' call

We'll lead you to your downfall

Hear our melodious,nostalgic tune

We'll fill your head with promises of fame and fortune

Beware of the irresistible charm

Which you think will do you no harm

Beware of the sirens' call

We'll lead you on

Till you're dead and gone.

Author's Note

isn't really my forte. this is the first poem I've ever written. What are your views on it?

Reviews

[Einstein Noodle]

i love sirens ...the call of the sea ... old ships sailing into the storm .. so beware we must ;) this is your first poem? and you started at the age of 12? wow! that's quite the vocabulary ... i'm ashamed of meself for the words i used at that tender pre--teen age ;} one suggestion ... if you want to make sirens a metaphor for materialism ... try to work it into the poem somehow ... or leave the explanation out and let us work it out for ourselves ..i think sirens makes for a very strong metaphor with the deceitfulness of the material world ... and your just 17 now?? wow ... God bless you for putting time into such a positive pursuit ... writing poetry ... i have not met you before today .. thanks again for finding my pages and reading ... and taking time to review .. its important i think as its how we know what has gotten across and what hasn't ... what spoke to people and what didn't ... so.... welcome! and see you around eh!? :)
E.

[Elizabeth]

Thank you so much for your review, I really appreciate it. I started writing when I was 12.... But I only started writing poetry when I was 15. I used to write short stories when I was younger. I'm glad to have met you and interacted with you.... I would love to read more of your work :)

[Einstein Noodle]

you are certainly invited anytime ;)

[iamshadowine]

woah! If this is your first, beware writers, someone's here to compete! :p Its so good!
wonderful
keep writing :D

[Elizabeth]

thank you so much for your lovely words!

[Zoya]

For a first attempt, this is quite amazing! The theme you've chosen is very different which makes this piece unique in itself. The rhyme scheme is really good as well. I enjoyed reading it. Keep writing!

[Elizabeth]

thank you so much for your review!

[Zoya]

Not a problem

[W1STER1A]

I loved your poem (I've never been any good with poetry). It almost reminded me of something sirens might sing in a movie.

[Elizabeth]

Thank you so much for your review!

[Coyote Poetry]

I enjoyed the poem.
"O hear the sirens' call
We'll lead you to your downfall
Hear our melodious,nostalgic tune
We'll fill your head with promises of fame and fortune"
The above lines are solid and the siren. A dangerous song to know. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[Elizabeth]

Thank you so much for your review!

[Coyote Poetry]

I enjoyed your work and you are welcome.

[L.C. Jarrette]

love this one. cool metaphors. i love how you relate it to the materialistic world that we live in. the unimportant things in life which may eventually lead to a man's downfall.

[Elizabeth]

Thank you for your review! it really means a lot to me!

[Decidious wind]

That's your first? Wow amazing. You have left me speechless! I cant wait to see more. I can barely write poetry I tried it once and my forst was a lot worse than this. In fact there is no comparison. Please go on and continue to write.

[Elizabeth]

Thank you so much for your comment!!! You have really made my day!