Microwave, not what the tabloid says.

      Name: Microwave, not what the tabloid says. 

      Writer: S. D. Blankenship.

      2-03-2015

       

Last night I was cleaning my microwave. Man, I can’t accept as true what the damn sensationalist says. 

They articulate I was throwing a festivity, for any one who was on TV.  Giving away all my currency.

I was on the obverse cover, Hope they sure look over, I was cleaning up some baked Stover. 

I was all the rage on TMZ, they said I was bigger than the latest paparazzi. Big news on the TV.

Yeah last night, I spelt bleach on something that wasn't white. But they say I was playing it right.

I had Millie on my right, Taylor on my left, Good God, they called me Todd. My sink was clogged. 

The print was large, not sure how they got that pic., but my apron was full of lint. Last night, is how it went.

If they only knew all I did was clean my microwave, they wouldn't have anything to say. 

They say I was out with --you take your pick. I was throwing hundreds like I was a stiff. 

Then I sneezed, they loved that, wrote it down that I was dying of smoking weeds.   

Last night I spent washing the crud from the microwave oven, today I read I was full of lovin’. 

Woke up with two wet gloves, but the tabloids say I was  sure good at making love. 

I never got that glass to shine, but every girl I know bought this S--- with their last dime. 

Wishing I could throw in the towel, maybe then they would see the stains of burnt cow. 

I wanted a night alone with Mr. Zatarain. When I woke up every woman wanted me as their man.

After what they said, I just have to ask, what the hell do they say I did?  

They posted my dirty face on the cover jacket, I sure hope when they lie, they can back-it. 

The turntable turned into the red carpet. I sure wish I could say F--it. 

My TV dinner was the most exiting thing I did last night. Or was it when I got into a fight? 

I sure don’t remember, but they comment it sure was a blunder. Maybe I should fight them to a Sunder. 

I was home last night, cleaning out that nasty microwave, woke up this morning can’t believe what that damn tabloid says. 

Next time I think I’ll just watch TV, maybe they pick on someone else, when I at the end of the day, go away. 

I can’t disbelieve this all began the instant I struggled to launder my microwave.  

Reviews

[jesserose99]

well my goodness... this just moved and grooved my friend. i imagine life in the tabloids to be something quite like that...i myself know...well, absolutely nothing of it, but whether you do or not, you certainly sound like you do!!

Very unique write, i like your style, your voice!

[Davidgeo]

Are you seriously pandering for attention like this---- "For the next 100 reviews I receive-- I will spell check, edit, and help with any writing you wish! And... Go! I will be counting!"

You're not a writer... you're a panderer.

Stop polluting the craft ya shameless t**d burglar. Pandering will not lift you out of mediocrity... that's on you and you alone.

[NotAboutMe]

They couldn't print it if it wasn't true =) I was drawn to this by the word microwave in the title. There are so few prose dedicated to the hero of our modern day kitchen.

Great Rant.

[Rebecca Garber]

This was something i have not seen in a writing. it is very unique. I very much appreciate it and i hope that you keep on writing. you are a very talented person.

[Richard Patrick]

It was quite the piece. It expresses who or what the tabliods
want you to think. If you are seen with a girl. You sre going out
with them, maybe even more.

If they see a girl enter your building, they think you are with you.
Be that not, it does not matter. That will be the chatter, what is the
matter? So, what if it is not true, that is what it means to be a
celebratity. Do you not see?

The writers try and entice the reader to buy their maganize or paper.
They are sure you will concur to what they say.


Sincerely



Richard Patrick Edwards

[Misphit]

Eminem with a cowboy hat and spurs.....Poe on a trail ride. Joan Rivers bass fishing...Loved it all

[Ahmad Cox]

Thanks for sharing. This brought a smile to my face.

[JetMardium]

wow, the wording, the versing, the entirety. It was beautifully scripted, masterfully executed
. i felt your commitment to your words and i loved reading it.
congrats on a wonderful piece of art

[Terry O'Leary]

stream of consciousness?
Anyway, absorbing!!!