Things Unspoken

Things Unspoken

A Poem by Darkgirl


This life of ours

will come to an end

I don't want to regret

we left it as friends


We've talked about it

but talk is cheap

lets make this happen

and take the leap


I've bottled it up

for way to long

and the way I feel

this just belongs


So what do you say

do you want the same

and this thing between us

lets give it a name


We can fly together

like birds in the air

and be together

without a care


we would fit together

like pieces falling into place

I just want to get lost in you

and disappear without a trace


Now is our time

this is our chance

don't wait anymore

don't let this pass


© 2014 Darkgirl



Author's Note

Darkgirl
So this was the first of its kind that i wrote, and now after a few years i'm still not sure i like it completely.

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Reviews

Very nicely done. You leave the reader questioning... which just means you pulled me in. Was it ever named? I like it... you should too.

Posted 3 Years Ago


Darkgirl

3 Years Ago

I think my issue is that it is unfinished, but at the same time that is the beauty of it. Thank you .. read more
I like the font, and the style, but I see what you mean. It seems like two thought processes running together, and I think that is where you are stuck. Is it a woman who wants a brief No strings arrangement, or someone who wants something more but feels it will end anyway.

Posted 3 Years Ago


we left it as just friends ( If you would just omit the word " just " , it would flow much smoothler and better )
We left it as friends ...
like pieces falling into place ( or like puzzles falling into place )

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Darkgirl

3 Years Ago

I left the "Just" in it because some people seem to misunderstand what i was trying to get at but I .. read more
Author Unknown

3 Years Ago

My pleasure Ms Darkgirl ... The final choice is yours . Its your piece ...
With all focused on our past and our future, the simplest, most important - and most untaught - is the frailty of the present. FEEL IT!! SHAKE IN IT!! DO YOU FEEL THAT? The slight breeze over your arms and legs, the subtle grinding of your teeth, your subconscious, ego, and id working feverishly to form a relate-able - maybe shareable thought? What can be more important than that? There will never EVER be another 'Now'! You can't plan it. You can't regret it. It's so f*****g fragile that, if left to ponder it, its already gone by. I quote you, "Don't Let It Pass!!" KUDOS I FELT THIS.

Posted 3 Years Ago


Darkgirl

3 Years Ago

Thank you :)
I think it's quite nice...and did you ever give the thing between you two a name??
Well done.
Enjoyed it.
Scott

Posted 3 Years Ago


Darkgirl

3 Years Ago

After a fashion haha and then it very quickly went down the toilet
Scott Metro

3 Years Ago

Gee...but That's a familiar story.....lol
Scott
the inward and deep love is expressed in the poem, images and metaphors are striking, well done
sayed, India

Posted 3 Years Ago



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Added on January 8, 2014
Last Updated on January 11, 2014

Author

Darkgirl
Darkgirl

Las Vegas, NV



About
Hello, people of the page. My name is Melanie, my poems are dark and moody and any stories I write are dark and scary (at least i try for them to be). I have been writing this way for so long it just .. more..

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