The Burden of Freedom

The Burden of Freedom

A Poem by Satoshi IroTzu

Cutting through the sky
with its metal wings;
all clear ahead, 
well spirited, unlimited
like in the sweetest dreams.

Sensation is hindered
by small favors;
weighing more under obligations, 
caring eager souls to their promised destinations.

Each flight is slower, 
dragging through the light air; 
trapped under their bleeding hearts, 
for salvation among clouds and saints;
as they reach for feather wings with their names.

Old now, 
rusty, empty,
nothing of joyful flight left;
only with the message that gnaws its mind;
freedom is a matter of state
not of the sky.

© 2017 Satoshi IroTzu



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Featured Review

Your words written like a ancient and wise poet.
"Old now,
rusty, empty,
nothing of joyful flight left;
only with the message that gnaws its mind;
freedom is a matter of state
not of sky."
I loved the above lines. Freedom is a open word. If you never knew freedom. Hard to define. Thank you Satoshi for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Satoshi IroTzu

2 Months Ago

Respect, Coyote

I appreciate you sharing your insightful and honest comment.
Coyote Poetry

2 Months Ago

I liked this poem and you are welcome my friend.



Reviews

Critique: (Cutting through sky) the sky - The noun phrase sky is missing a determiner before it.
(not of sky) the sky - The noun phrase sky is missing a determiner before it.

Review: Nice imagery that empowers the metaphorical sense of your poem. A pleasure to read Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap!


Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Satoshi IroTzu

2 Months Ago

Respect, papa-Bear

I appreciate your honesty , and your aid, in your comments.
.. read more
Your words written like a ancient and wise poet.
"Old now,
rusty, empty,
nothing of joyful flight left;
only with the message that gnaws its mind;
freedom is a matter of state
not of sky."
I loved the above lines. Freedom is a open word. If you never knew freedom. Hard to define. Thank you Satoshi for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Satoshi IroTzu

2 Months Ago

Respect, Coyote

I appreciate you sharing your insightful and honest comment.
Coyote Poetry

2 Months Ago

I liked this poem and you are welcome my friend.

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2 Reviews
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Added on September 15, 2017
Last Updated on September 15, 2017

Author

Satoshi IroTzu
Satoshi IroTzu

Split, Splitsko-Dalmatinska Zupanija, Croatia



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