A Humble Suggestion

A Humble Suggestion

A Story by DaughterNature
"

I would actually classify this more as an essay -- inspired by Jonathan Swift's "A Modest Proposal"

"
            In these dark times of our power-hungry country, I beg to hold a candle of enlightenment to our filament and ignite again the splendor of American ingenuity.

            I will begin by setting forth the problems I considered before I decided on this logical conclusion:

1)    America’s reliance on oil to fuel all forms of transportation is almost irreconcilable.  As the world’s oil supply decreases, and tensions between world powers increase, both become factors that increase the price of fuel in our country.  We turn to one feasible and similar alternative to oil: ethanol.

2)    In a constant search for more housing space, our society consumes more and more open land, much of which was once used for farming.  This lack of farmland causes three problems: first, we must now import food not produced on non-existent farms, using petroleum to transport it; second, there are no farms on which to grow corn to turn into ethanol; and third, with the lack of open farmland comes a lack of space to inter those who would prefer a terrestrial burial.

             After considering these issues for nigh on two hours, I hit upon a solution so revolutionary and so practical I am sure society cannot dismiss it as a mere fanciful dream, but embrace it as a grand application of American ingenuity.

            My solution, then, is this: when our loved ones pass away into the unknown beyond and leave their mortal husks behind, we should make use of the husks to solve our problems. Using the common practice of cremation (eliminating the need for cemetery ground) we can incinerate the dead and use the electricity harnessed from the heat reaction to power our vehicles and other machines. In this fashion, we will be able to be proud to say that our society (more than any group of historic pagans) runs on the power of our ancestors.

© 2014 DaughterNature


Author's Note

DaughterNature
PLEASE KNOW THIS IS SATIRE -- please read the description at the top which refers to Jonathan Swift!

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now that is one unique perspective .. "lets go pick up dead uncle joe ... his bulk is big enough to power a trip to the coast honey" ;} here is a quote from www.fsa.usda.gov/Internet/FSA_File/afida_thru_12312011.pdf
Foreign persons held an interest in 25.7 million acres of U.S. agricultural land as of December 31,
2011. This is 2.0 percent of all privately held agricultural land and 1 percent of all land in the
United States. These and other findings are based on an analysis of reports submitted in
compliance with the Agricultural Foreign Investment Disclosure Act of 1978.
i find it a little disturbing as i am sure the holding have grown ... and once the "breadbasket of the world" we do import all kinds of foods ... seems somehow as just not quite right, if you know what i mean. :(
E.


Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Einstein Noodle

7 Years Ago

oh man! so sad your dad passed away before his own; but so beautifully poetic that your grandpa made.. read more
DaughterNature

7 Years Ago

(actually maternal grandfather) They had a very special relationship. Everyone was crushed, but all .. read more
Einstein Noodle

7 Years Ago

we do grow deeply through adversity ..and to do so with grace, without malice nor blaming, i say, is.. read more



Reviews

now that is one unique perspective .. "lets go pick up dead uncle joe ... his bulk is big enough to power a trip to the coast honey" ;} here is a quote from www.fsa.usda.gov/Internet/FSA_File/afida_thru_12312011.pdf
Foreign persons held an interest in 25.7 million acres of U.S. agricultural land as of December 31,
2011. This is 2.0 percent of all privately held agricultural land and 1 percent of all land in the
United States. These and other findings are based on an analysis of reports submitted in
compliance with the Agricultural Foreign Investment Disclosure Act of 1978.
i find it a little disturbing as i am sure the holding have grown ... and once the "breadbasket of the world" we do import all kinds of foods ... seems somehow as just not quite right, if you know what i mean. :(
E.


Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Einstein Noodle

7 Years Ago

oh man! so sad your dad passed away before his own; but so beautifully poetic that your grandpa made.. read more
DaughterNature

7 Years Ago

(actually maternal grandfather) They had a very special relationship. Everyone was crushed, but all .. read more
Einstein Noodle

7 Years Ago

we do grow deeply through adversity ..and to do so with grace, without malice nor blaming, i say, is.. read more
Couldn't help but twitch a bit when I read the ethanol line... I have been trying this for years, even going so far as to harvest fuel sources from the area; but do you have any idea how many corpses and people it takes to fuel just my laptop? Hah, this was good; a great juxtaposition of funerary techniques and social issues--cremation for power and reduction of land consumption. And the final snide remark about building our society on our ancestors was great. This isn't quite on the same level of Swift, but honestly... I don't think the world could handle another Swift.

Posted 9 Years Ago


DaughterNature

9 Years Ago

Thanks! I will definitely take a fresh look at this piece -- haven't edited it for several years, an.. read more
Nusquam Esse

9 Years Ago

Dang, you have been writing much longer than me!
DaughterNature

9 Years Ago

Lolz, no worries -- everyone begins when it feels "write" for them! (see what I did there?) I'm 24 1.. read more
Nice satire essay! I did laugh when I read the last paragraph! I do not know if you intended the reader to laugh but I laughed. I don't know seriously if I would want to be generating electric from my loved ones husks, nor do I want them running off of my husk. I am glad that it was satire and it sounds like you had fun with your imagination in creating this. I do like the idea of cremating and no cemeteries, as most imagine cemeteries to be creepy and haunted. Overall, your writing is good!

Posted 9 Years Ago


Honey-Bee

9 Years Ago

No, I am not against cremation. I do feel it a little strange using husks as energy. Not an idea e.. read more
DaughterNature

9 Years Ago

We burn goo-ed up dinosaurs to power our cars right now. Just sayin.' Dead bodies are dead bodies. I.. read more
Honey-Bee

9 Years Ago

I am very much aware that we burn dinosaur's. I hope your dreams come true dear!
but this is brilliant! it's genius! : )

Posted 10 Years Ago


DaughterNature

10 Years Ago

thank you so much! are you familiar with the Swift piece, or just liking the idea of environmental c.. read more
Mockingbird

10 Years Ago

i'm not familiar with swift...i studied him in school a long time ago so i forgot...however, i agree.. read more
and to keep them with us...
Nice story...

Posted 10 Years Ago


DaughterNature

10 Years Ago

Thank you!
Well, I read this as satire. Funny and some true isms...
This shows being rational is not always intelligent. Ha.

Posted 10 Years Ago


DaughterNature

10 Years Ago

Or is it? ;)

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516 Views
6 Reviews
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Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on November 9, 2013
Last Updated on February 8, 2014
Tags: satire

Author

DaughterNature
DaughterNature

Chicago, IL



About
I know I'll always be learning, but ready and willing to read and review! I have been writing for about 14 years, and I have had one short story published in a magazine. I love experimenting with diff.. more..

Writing