Can You Tell Me Why You're Such An A*****e?

Those are the words my mother spoke to me on her fifty-fifth birthday.

My brothers looked at me, apparently waiting for an answer as well.

My Grandpa was sitting in his rocking chair, a "Happy birthday" hat

rested on top of his toupe that rested on top of a face that didn't

care what we were all talking about. The clock seemed louder

than usual in the silence. I slipped the d***o I had purchased slowly 

back into the bag I had brought it in. I started to explain myself and then

thought better of it. "See you at Thanksgiving," I said. When trying to return 

the d***o, the clerk laughed at me, and then got angry. "What are you, some 

kind of a*****e?" he asked. "I think I might be," I answered. 

Reviews

[Tim M]

I love the birthday hat resting on the toupe, it adds an almost demented level of humor to the piece. Great stuff buddy, impressed as always.

[T. J. Blackburn]

hahahahahhahahahahahahahhah!!!! great stuff, man. As always.

[Rochelle Tyler]

So hilarious, I love how it's the reader walking right into the climax of the situation without needing an explanation of what's going on. There's no winning with this guy, and I think that's how most a******s are, they just can't help themselves. Awesome write.

[Leap]

Your subtlety is what makes this one ring true. I can totally picture someone doing this as a joke gone very wrong. It's more realistic with the flash descriptions.There's so little there, but as usual, you convey enough. I can't help but picture a mother with her hands on her hips, staring at you with that use-your-full-name-because-you're-in-deep-s**t face. Of the two brothers, I picture them wide-eyed and gawking side by side, with mouths slightly agape. And the grandfather is the icing on the cake.

[jenniewren (J.W. Bouwma..]

*giggles* i love these pieces that hold careful little landmines which implode with such deliciousness... the description of Grandpa is priceless