The Courtship of Sisters Three

There were sisters three, and they all were free

In a town called Tavistock,

Freer than they would want to be

As they stared at the Town Hall Clock.

‘Our time is running ahead of us

They will soon call us ‘Old Maid’,

Said sister Jill to the younger Phil,

And the eldest one, called Jade.

 

‘So why don’t the menfolk look at us,

We’re not that hard on the eye,

Certainly better than Betty Watts

Who married the stable guy.’

‘I danced with him, did you know?’ said Phil,

‘By God, he’s a clumsy oaf,

He kept on tripping over his boots,

And stamped on all of my toes.’

 

‘I had a line on the fisherman,’

Said Jill, ‘and I thought I’d win,

I’d give it a month or two to set,

And then I would reel him in.

But Nancy Croft got her hooks in him

And I see they’ve tied the knot,

I said, ‘but you were going with me!’

He said, ‘Oh! I’d forgot.’

 

Then Jade had turned with a waspish look

And she said, ‘Well, look at me!

I’m the eldest and should be wed

By rights, the first of three.

There’s only a single guy in town,

He’s the only one that’s left,

I heard him say he’s going away,

He’s an army boy, called Jeff.’

 

But Jill and Phil said, ‘He’s not yours,

It’s the one that gets there first,’

They were in favour of drawing straws,

But Jade had stamped and cursed.

They said they’d ask him around to tea

They’d cook up muffins and toast,

And then they’d see what they all would see,

By whom he talked to most!

 

He came attired in his uniform

His scabard by his side,

Placed his sword on the mantelpiece

Where Jade stroked it with pride.

‘My, but you’re a fine gentleman

And I see you play the fife,

How sad, you’ll march to a battle cry

Without a beautiful wife.’

 

He sat perturbed, and he looked at them,

At each one in their turn,

‘If only there were three of me,’

He said, but his cheeks had burned.

The sisters jostled to catch his eye,

Were heated and dismayed,

‘I know a way we can settle this!’

And Jill had reached for the blade.

 

She swung the sword and before they knew,

The soldier lay in halves,

She’d cleft him, clean through the waist, and then

She’d cut off both his arms.

To Jade the head and the torso went,

To Phil, arms worn like a shawl,

Which left Jill what was below the waist,

(She had the most fun of all!)

 

David Lewis Paget

Reviews

[Harmony]

As usual, beautifully rythmical...and creepy as all hell. Begins simply and cozily, surrounding us in an entirely false sense of security until at the end, the gruesome climax! And the last line, OMG! That single line, all by itself, made my blood run cold! Thank you so much for sharing these fantastic poems! Every one of them is a pleasure to read!

[TL Boehm]

Oh gosh! I shouldn't have laughed at that Sir David but I did.

[MoriartyMesa]

Been a while since i have seen your work, but it is always worth the weight in gold.

[R Smith]

nicely dark and wicked writing David, a neat if somewhat bloody twist, Jill was happy at least haha

[Avinash]

Until the last stanza it seemed to be a dream come true for every guy. Reminded me of the 'Perfume', he was so desired that people torn him off into pieces. Being desired is not always a good scenario specially with women. A very entertaining and unpredictable one.

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

A most fantastic twist and without knowing from the reader, well done, great read.

[Jennie Baron]

A ghastly turn at the end but somehow I still enjoyed it. Outstanding!

[Marie]

It's nice to see you writing something light for a change--even if it's a bit grisly.

[Louise.xx]

Oooh fantastic, what a great very unexpected twist, finished with a great and humorous last line. Another fine poem of yours I have read. Very enjoyable xx

[MomzillaNC]

Umm… ewwww! This one really took a sharp U-turn in the tale! I was expecting that dark turn… I was looking for it… It still took me by surprise!