All My Fault

My heart is empty, my head is full

Of all that transpired in the past,

My short term memory’s wrapped in wool

My long term leaves me aghast,

As age has dotted my copy book

It leaves me the time to think,

Of all the faces I knew back when

That I washed right down the sink.

My eyes are dry, but I often cry

Inside, when a thought will sting,

Did I do everything that I could

Not just the easiest thing?

All those good souls who were lost to me

For the lack of a helping hand,

I put a curse on my universe

For not taking a bolder stand.

I know that some were afraid of me,

My voice and my tone was gruff,

Could they even see the love inside

Or was it never enough?

I only knew what I felt within

I’m sad if it didn’t show,

But I lost my friends, my kith and kin

When they turned around to go.

Why couldn't I ever see it then

I was too wrapped up in life,

And everything seemed important then

Except to my lonely wife,

I loved each one, yes I really did

Though I must admit to four,

And each one left for a better life,

Went out the revolving door.

So I must confess to selfishness

In a life that I lived for me,

I could never see another’s needs

Or take part in their history,

I can see the distant horizon now

And it’s time to call a halt,

But before I meet that judgement seat

I admit, it’s all my fault.

David Lewis Paget

Reviews

[Ellen Hammond]

Wow! This poem is quite different from what I have grown to expect from you. It is very reflective and gives me much food for thought. Hindsight often seems to be much clearer than foresight. However, it can become clouded as we look back with regret at the people and things we lost along life's way while we were searching or reaching for something we thought we needed more. It becomes too easy to accept that every loss was our own fault and blame our younger selves for all that transpired. We tend to forget sometimes that we only became wiser because of what we experienced back then...our younger selves honestly didn't know better at the time.

[TPK Stories]

Honest words as it can be hard to admit one's own fault. Excellent read!

[Coyote Poetry]

Honest, direct and hard thoughts shared in the poetry. We must face our self one day. Decide if we did good or if we did poorly? Thank you David for sharing the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[T.S. Sky]

This is very deep to admit when one is at fault and take full responsibility. I love this piece.

[Red Rose]

I can relate with some of it.
The lines "My eyes are dry, but I often cry
Inside, when a thought will sting,
Did I do everything that I could
Not just the easiest thing?" are my favorite.. It's perfectly described.
Thank you for giving my feelings a voice.

[KT-B]

This is a more reflective, serious work - it reminds me of my uncle who just loved to travel , do his own thing and shouldn't have married and had kids... divorced of course - still he was bloody wonderful and everyone loved him anyway :)

[Avinash]

A very introspective poem. It also forces the reader in the same lane. We often make this fault of seeing the world through our own glasses. But balance is the key and doing justice to every aspect of your life is one of them. A very beautiful and heartfelt poem.