Prefazione

Italy, 1348

            The fires burned with a relentless passion; a hunger that consumed the tiny hamlet with great licking flames. Smoke choked the night sky and blotted out the insignificant stars that, only days ago, had meant so much. I could hear the screams of the few living, awoken from dreams of agonizing death to find it upon them in another guise. The smell of death, pestilence, and burning flesh assaulted my nostrils as I inhaled. My lips curled up, slowly, in a smile that caught me by surprise. Their deaths, their screams, their pain filled the hole within my chest; its raw, burning edges placated by the atrocity I had committed.

            This is what I was.

            I let my eyes drift shut as I listened to the music of their suffering.

            Behind my lids I saw her sweet face, her smile, her loving eyes as she looked into mine in the dark. It was too much. The scream tore from my throat as an explosion rocked the little town and the fire grew in intensity, its long burning fingers reaching out towards the surrounding orchards. I called upon all of the strength within my ancient body, summoning the winds to aid me in my destruction. I would burn the entire continent, the world, if it would soothe the ache of her passing.

            I felt it now.

            I understood.

            This is what it meant to be forsaken.

Reviews

[Angry Greek Girl]

Wow. I just wanted to say that the atmosphere in this chapter is so wonderfully overwhelming. You can almost taste the heat and smoke in the air. I literally felt my chest hitch up, as if I couldn’t breathe. Also, your main character/narrator is intriguing to say the least. I found myself relating to how she feels and wanting to give in to the darkness of those emotions. Breathtaking piece.

[Joshua Donahue]

You need to write more to this story. The character is such a mystery that I NEED to know her more. Also, the way you described the fire was remarkable. Very well-written.

Oh, and the ending was great. It FEELS like a cliffhanger, but I don't know if it is or not, so I'm just gonna call it that. haha. Either way, it had the same effect on me: I WANT TO KNOW MORE! :D keep it up.

[Pax Analog]

Hellgrrrl. Has the great fiery luridness of that intriguing zone of literate graphic novels, pulp. It struck me as something Alan Moore might have written. Really matches the great visual dynamic of graphic novels. Onward!

[Jason Shadows]

Very Good I Like This. Sounds To Be Like The Main Character Has Some Kinda Goddess To Me. Powers Of Ancient And Old. Beautifully Dark.

[Iota]

Your main character is interesting and I find myself wanting to know more about her. At the same time I am glad I will never meet her. I find myself wondering how old she is since she refers to herself as ancient and thus I think she is mystical with special powers that she enjoys using to cause pain in others to soothe her own pain. Nice lady that she is. I want to understand her and even feel sorry for her but right now she is too dark and too evil so we will see if other sides of her arise or not. I agree with the others a great start and sad that it isn't more chapters here.

[Dane Osborne]

You're off to a good start. Very taut and poetic fiction. There are some good lines here:
Smoke choked the night sky and blotted out the insignificant stars that, only days ago, had meant so much.

Just for one. I would love to see where this goes from here:)

[Nefyrion]

Wow really need more. This is awesome I think I felt a little singed after reading

[Kena Dawn Augustine]

Amazing. That goes from the realm of 'a writer for fun' to a 'writer with potential' I loved your word play and description, at times I felt I was moving harmoniously on a music note, although no music was played. You are definitely one of the better chapter writers here, glad i found you.

[Nyida Strong]

Where the hell is the rest?! Ugh, You're so mean, only giving us one chapter. I can't wait to read the rest. Let me know you post it.

N. Strong

[Colleen C Dunphy]

You pulled me in by the very first sentence. (And the title of the chapter) It seems just slightly overdramatic or melodramatic, but in a good way.
It is just a little tease to pull you in and want to keep ready to find out what happened to the lovely woman, and where all of that pain is rooted.

I can't wait to read more!

[kat calico]

Nice! Very well written; love your decriptions :)