The Man Who Understood Women

The Quick Study Series : X

There's a personality we all come to meet … just as we are reaching the sweet age of 16. He is real as far as I could tell … but he represents himself as an epitome of immaculate behavior. He gives the impression … that he is accustomed to achieving anything he sets out to do … and he understands women perfectly. In fact … he sometimes claimed that he understood women better … than they understood themselves.

 

To say the least … I was extremely flattered to be associated with him … but I was fairly certain … I wasn't him. Impossible! … this fella … or some projection of him in my consciousness … was simply too good. He'll size up a situation … just like that … create the right responses … and achieve precisely what he wanted to do. Incredible! No way I was that at 16!

 

I should have been the gungho where I lived … but it produced some problems. I couldn't just draw from him within … without feeling a sense that I was less capable in some way … and the incredible sense of indebtedness … would have been impossible to repay. So … two years into the relationship … I distanced myself a little … without saying why …  and took to what I was doing with my own savvy on issues.

 

I just couldn't go on … the sense of self conscious … the way it referred to how I could have done things better … was so excruciating … I slipped … fell … and was generally inept in even communicating clearly. Then something took over … the relationship with women was still sound … so this other type … who fancied himself … a lover … came on. In retrospect … it may have been the influence … of my girlfriends at that time.

 

I wasn't any good with that either. But it brought me into an understanding of the human sub-conscious … that great ' anything goes ' lake of half ambitions … half relations … and an equal amount of achievements … it is the great average. As a sub-conscious experience … I continued to engage and indulge … in a half conscious … oh! I already said that … half blurred vision of the goings on in my life … to which I responded … as being half clear … half justifiably of course.

 

The fact that all these … was supported … by the attitude of the lover … helped. It helped to say … for instance that I still cared … and was as honest as I could ever be. As a result … I am … in the words of Scott Fitzgerald ( the Gatsby guy ) … ' inclined to reserve all judgments ' … simply a matter of watching and waiting. How does anyone else do it?

 

I can see now that I will never be called to deliver a sermon at any place of worship. In each part of our lives … worship … money … love … patriotism … etc. … folks are always pressing on issues until it is torn apart by avarice. What we need to discover is a way … to allow for the freedom of choice …  the will to elect with regards to the many forms of desire … and to cultivate a free volition with regard to the outcomes. This ensures the most orderly organization … of passion and reason based experiences.

 

Which leaves me with … what my nature is as an individual. Its a lot of things … but right now I'm sitting in my room … enjoying some Divali muruku … which is served with a mix of peanuts … fried garbanzo beans … and … and … what do you call that purplish shelled nut … with the soft yellowish interior? … yah … that! And the rain just stopped.

Reviews

[Tate Morgan]

there are 3 ways we are seen
1 the way we see ourselves
2 the way others see us
3 the way we truly are

Of the three I have found that most others suffer the same problem you list here. The leaders arent any more sure of what to do at any given time They just launch themselves into the matter and others follow. part swagger part humility Brave? Sure but they fear doing nothing more than failure.

[Dayran]

hi TM! ... From the ancient texts ... to the modern awakening ... man's pre-occupation has been to understand himself. Welcome buddy!

[Tate Morgan]

Smiles to you

[Mifa]

Uninhibited thoughts from you. I really enjoyed the reflective view that this prose takes, without actually boring readers with the details of reflection.

But I think, you really ought to lose the ellipsis (...) I don't think any of it was necessary or couldn't be substituted with some more appropriate punctuation; except for instances where you had some kinda stutter on recollection, like this part "in a half conscious … oh! I already said that".

You should also consider structuring your thoughts a bit. I was kinda lost when you began the self-reflection part, supposedly brought on by the aid of your girlfriends. I couldn't really follow your train of thoughts from there, except when you got to the last paragraph.

You however, brought the prose to a beautiful close by the way. Kudos. I hope to read more from you soon. Keep writing.

[Dayran]

hi Mifa .... Nice to have met you!

[Mifa]

Same here.