Party

Chloe is the uncool geeky nerdy girl in school. Who gets asked out the biggest party of the senior class. But Little does she know that this will be a party that she will never forget.

Tonight is the biggest night of my life. I Finally got asked out to the biggest party of the senior class. At first i didnt think i was going to get asked out my bestfriend Katy felt so bad for me. she wanted me to come so bad. But no one would ask me and at the last minute Daniel  Jones asked me out after chemistry class. i was so surprised because i been crushing on him since 7th grade i always sat behind him in Chemistry Class since i was a freshman and now was my chance to actually get to know him. Know what kind of person he is, know what his favorite foods are, know what he likes to do when he’s not in school. I already have the outfit i’m going to wear to the party. 

I begged my mom mom take me to the mall for some last minute shopping and after begging and pleading for an hour she finally cracked and took me. I Bought this cute gray shirt from forever 21 and some black skinny jeans i just wanted something plain not to revealing i mean after all this is my first date and first party ! 

“Ding Dong” the door bell rang my heart felt it was going to jump out of my chest. 

“Chloe!” My mom yelled out. 

I was trying to yell back but nothing came out. My mouth got dry all of sudden like i couldn’t speak. I chocked up and spat out three words. 

“Be Right Down.” 

I checked myself out in the mirror one more time before i left. I hate my far apart eyes and extra large forehead.  my body is like a piece of cardboard i have no shape or any breast. it’s sad actually i’m the only high school senior that is still in A cup. After sighing and moaning about my horrible features for the next 5 minutes i Grabbed a brush and brushed my dark brown hair and finally grew the courage to come down stairs. 

After walking down stairs  I saw Daniel was conversing with mom. He is hot i mean really hot like every time i look at him get butterflies in my stomach. he flashed his  beautiful blue eyes at me and pushed his sexy light brown hair back. his face was like a piece of art his strong jaw line and he has the best body i ever seen in my life. I Still couldn’t believe that i was going to a party with this guy i needed to be pinched. 

“You Look…… Amazing” He Said in awe. 

I couldn’t believe my ears did Daniel Jones really just say i looked amazing? 

“You don’t look bad yourself i love that orange shirt it really brings out your eyes” I smiled. “thank you” 

He smiled back my heart started to jump up and down. “Well mom we better get going” I said to my mom. I didn’t want to talk to much while my mom was in the room. 

“Bye Honey” she ran up to me and gave me a big fat wet one on the cheek. 

“Mom!!!!” i shrieked. 

“Aww my baby is all grown up” she said emotionally.

 “Mom goodbye see you in a few hours, Let’s go Daniel” I said while walking out as fast i could. 

“It was Nice Meeting you ms.fisher” Daniel Shouted while running out my house. 

“Have fun Kids” She Shouted so loud the neighbors could hear her. 

After that embarrassing moment i was to scared to say anything in the car. i wanted to crawl in hole and never come out. He looked at me and started to smile it made my heart sink. I couldn’t help but to smile back. 

“Mom’s Huh? they can be a pain right?” He Said While Smiling. 

“tell me about it she’s more excited than i am. I Laughed. Oh My Gosh! I love this song can you turn it up.” I Shouted. probably the most dorkiest thing i could have done. 

“Oh really? i love this song too.” 

We started snapping and moving our heads back and forth and started singing along with the song. It was so cute we couldn’t stop laughing. The ride went by so fast after that before we knew it we were at the party. 

“You Ready to party?”  

I cracked a smile and walked into the large house. There were so many people there it was struggle just to into the house. Everyone was there from school the music was so loud and the dance floor was packed with horny and drunk teens. 

“Do you want anything to drink?” Daniel Shouted. 

“Sure” I Shouted. Daniel disappeared into the people. Everyone was giving me “The Look”, that look like “why the hell is she here and who let her in kind of look. 

“Here’s your drink and look who i bumped into!” Daniel Shouted over the loud music. “Katy and Toby” 

Katy gave me the biggest hug me and Katy has been my best friends since 6th grade. She’s the more cool outgoing kind of friend. I’m the more quiet sit in the corner kind of girl. we are total opposites but we click. It’s hard to explain but me and her just get each other. Katy has the best body in the word it’s like a coke bottle one word Amazing. She’s a teenage dream any girl would kill for a body like hers. Hell i would kill for a body like hers. her long dark blonde hair and her beautiful slanted cat like green eyes. Toby isn’t as good looking as Daniel but he’s a nice looking guy He’s been dating katy for a year now and they seem very happy. his brown eyes and dark brown hair are nice on him. 

“Can i talk to you for a second?” Katy shouted. Katy took me to the nearest bathroom where we could talk and not have a screaming match. 

“Chloe what in the hell do you have on?” she gave me the ugliest look like i looked disgusting. 

“What? i thought i looked cute my mom helped me pick this out i think i look nice.” 

“Yeah nice for a 13 year old’s birthday party.” Katy started laughing. 

“Way to smash my confidence Katy thanks…” 

“Don’t worry i knew this would happen so i bought you a outfit to make you look age appropriate.” 

Katy pulled out this mini skirt and this pink half top and a make up bag. 

“Katy i don’t know about this…” 

“Just trust me” Jamie made me take off all of my clothes and i changed into the clothes she gave me and she patted some make-up on my face. I didn’t look like the same girl in the party i looked like a new person and i liked it. 

“now am i miracle worker or what?” I Smiled. 

“I love it!” 

i gave Katy the biggest hug. me and Katy gave a toast and chucked down the drinks we got from Toby and Daniel and headed back in to the party.  All eyes were on me when i came back into the party i thought i was getting attention before but now i was getting way more stares. But it was a different look. A look i liked. It felt good to feel like a another person. Daniel looked at me like he just seen an angel he looked amazed.

 “wow” He Said. his mouth dropped to the ground. 

“Thank You” I Shouted i forgot how loud the music after i found out what song was on i grabbed Daniel’s hand and started dancing. I felt great i felt like i could fly. I didn't know if it was alcohol in my drink or what but i felt like i could do anything. After Dancing to 7 or 8 songs the crowd started to die down. Toby and Katy went up stairs to talk about something. 

“You want anything else to drink?” Daniel asked. 

“Sure” I Answered.  

”You want to go up stairs and talk?” He Smiled. His smile made me want to do anything. “Sure” we walked up stairs. He locked the door i didn't mind because i knew he wanted to do was talk and i knew he didn't want anyone interrupting us. 

“Take a sip of drink” He said while looking into my eyes. 

“Sure only if you drink with me” I Said. We Took  a sip and then drank the rest down. I felt woozy like the room was spinning and i was on a endless roll-coaster ride. 

“Is there alcohol in this?” I Asked. 

“Yeah just a little not a lot don’t worry i wont let anything happen to you.” 

“okay” 

my words felt like they were slurring. I couldn't Remember what i just said but i didn't want to break this moment that was going on between so i didn’t pay it any attention. 

“You know i always liked you right? ever since 7th grade i think you are smart,pretty,funny and kind. 

he started to rub my hand and then my legs it felt right to me the way he was touching me. “I…..” 

“Shh… don’t say anything. 

Then i felt his soft tender lips against mine and i melted like a Popsicle on a hot summer day. we started to kiss more and more and  it felt really nice but also kind of wrong. i started to feel weak and when i tried to say something nothing was coming out. i tried pushing him off but my body felt weak. I tried screaming but my voice wasn't loud enough. I started to feel dizzy and faint and after that i blacked out. When i woke up my clothes were ripped and i was bleeding out of my vagina. I was raped there were no if ands buts about it. i couldn’t believe this happened to me. I burst into tears and cried for hours. the hours turned into weeks and then months. I didn't tell my mom Katy or anyone about it i kept it to myself.

The guy I’ve been crushing on for the past 6 years is Rapist? i couldn't wrap my head around it. One day after class i went to grab some books and seen Daniel he smiled and waved at me like nothing happened. As the weeks flew by Katy stopped answering my calls. I felt so alone like i didn’t have a friend in the world or anyone to talk to. She was my only friend and she was even neglecting me. A week later when i walked past the chem lab after school to get the last of books i over heard Katy,Toby and Daniel talking and the things i heard made me sick. Katy planed it all she told Daniel to ask me out. after i blacked not only did Daniel rape me but Toby did as well. All this time i thought she was my friend but she was nothing but a liar! it was all a joke just so she could be popular so could make a name for herself. I didn't come to school for the next few days all i did was sit in my room and cry and think about how could this happen to me. I wanted to go to the police but i knew there was nothing they could do. so i took matters into my own hands. 

I grabbed the gun out my mom’s shoe box and walked to school. it was 2:30 and school was out i texted Katy and told her to meet me in the back of school i had some news for her. She wasn't expecting it and that’s what made it so great. first i shot her in her back she started screaming so loud that everyone started screaming then i blew her brains out.  then i made my way to Toby’s car and shot him in the face. Last but not least i found Daniel kissing some girl in his car in the school garage. He was not expecting to see me or what was coming next he laid lifeless on the steering wheel after i shot him 13 times. The girl  just screamed and cried until the police came. The police took me in and charged me with 1st degree murder i didn't care though i was complete and i had the last laugh and that’s all that matters.  I’m awaiting for my trail to start right now sitting in a cell pregnant and alone is not what i saw for myself. I have no clue who the father is i don’t care who it is i just want this all to be over. so let’s get this party started.

Reviews

[Mz]

I loved the story, but found it to be a little too rough around the edges. All is good truly, just work on your descriptive abilities a bit. The final paragraph seems a little rushed to me, perhaps you could've made it a bit rounder. Not simply 'I shot her and then him' , am I making any sense? lol

Overall I truly loved the story so don't be upset because of my critique.
Keep up the good work, my friend.

[Vee Cole]

Okay gotcha I did rush it at the end kind of because I was in a hurry. Thank you for reading. :)

[Mz]

No worries, glad to read your work.

[ewest1220]

Man so much expansion would be possible in that last paragraph. It is an awesome story and idea man I would recommend slowing the pace and adding some detail. It's a great start man don't you dare let go of that idea! Good work!

[kayla]

The overall theme and idea of the story is amazing, but there are alot of grammatical errors (ex. periods, capitalization, quotations) that make the story harder to follow. Regardless, this was great and I enjoyed reading it. The second to last paragraph almost made me cry, and I definately wasn't expecting the last paragraph. 0.o It was good tho. Keep writing(:

[Vee Cole]

Thank you so much for reading and pointing that out next time I will try to proof read what I wrote. Aww really? Thank you so much I'm going to look at work now I can't wait to read it!

[allie_arrowz]

capitalization?

[TobyWriting]

Very good! Seemed very realistic what was going through her head most of the time. I also like how after the rape you switched to summary of dialogue instead of direct speaking, makes it seem more disconnected and impassive.

[Vee Cole]

Thanks for reading toby it means a lot that you liked it. Send some more of writing I want to read more!

[Kevin S.]

No offense, but that was the creepiest thing I ever read. It was really insane but well written. Not what I expected.

[Vee Cole]

at first i thought it you crapest lol. Thank you so much i wrote it when i was 15 i just mad a few minor changes. None Taken.

[Admiral Kirk]

Great! With the dialogue like that, the story flows much better. And this is still one of the darkest, most twisted stories I have ever read. Fantastic! :D

[Vee Cole]

thank you im glad you liked you and thank you for the advice on the flow it looks and sounds so much better now

[Admiral Kirk]

No problem, glad to help.

[YourMajesty2102]

Wow excellent!

[Vee Cole]

Thank you so much :)

[Admiral Kirk]

Wow. Another very powerful story. This is one of the darkest, most twisted stories I have ever read. Great job! It's also sad how something one person did turned this poor girl from a lonely teen to a murderer. Very sad, but interesting.

[Vee Cole]

aww omg thank you so much! it means a lot to me. i dont where i get these idea's from they just come to me. I'm so happy that you liked you this story i was writing it 3 hours straight last night.

[Admiral Kirk]

You're welcome. My best ideas just come to me too. It's a great story, keep up the good work!

[Vee Cole]

Thank i think im going to post something tonight you inspired me to post something else.

[Admiral Kirk]

Awesome! Can't wait to read it! :D