Plans in Chaos

Plans in Chaos

A Story by DeathbyGarlic
"

We knew how to plan. He taught us how to work outside of a plan. Without that, we wouldn't have been able to to do what we did; to change our plan.

"

Our predecessor would not have been satisfied. The execution was flawless - considering, of course, the improvisational nature of the plan itself - but the day’s events opened periodic questions about the likelihood of success.  Fortunately for us he wasn’t around to critique the occasional chaotic moment as the plot unfolded. In fact, when all is said and done, our predecessor’s influence is what allowed us to do what we did.


Despite his refusal to take credit for our actions and unwillingness to acknowledge himself as an influence in that which has happened in the past twenty-one hours, it cannot go unmentioned that he has served as the primary example by which we founded our system of making fast-paced decisions. It is this sort of system that is required when a plan goes sour or when there is no plan at all. This is how we can safely say that very little of what went on was the product of our predecessor.


No; he would never have allowed anything such as that to happen; which is why it was absolutely essential to hide the planning from him even as we learned from him. As he taught us how to behave, how think and how to manage in situations with no plan we toiled for months over a scenario organized as well as we knew how.


Planning was something we did well, long before we had an instructor. We planned quickly and we planned well. Our plans never failed us.


And then others figured out how to out-plan us; the masters of planning. It was time for a change. We needed someone without a plan to teach us how to make the best of chance. Through him we would learn how to plan " not for weeks ahead but for moments and no further.


There are always variables outside of our control " this is what we learned through our experience. We sought, through our predecessor, was not to control those variables but to learn how to react to them. Although we became expert planners through the years our ability to act without a plan was less than acceptable. In order to craft a plan large enough to accomplish our goals it was absolutely necessary to shed the feelings of discomfort resonating through uncertainty.


Our plan encompassed too much; too many people; too much space; too many tiny variables to properly plan for and control. It was only through chaos we could succeed.


The date was known from the very beginning. What we sought to accomplish was obvious. Our actions were predicted by our enemies years prior. That was why we needed the chaos- why our plan had to be so drastically different than those before.


While mankind turned their eyes to the clouded skies, seeking to go beyond them, our eyes turned to the Earth; we knew that man made this world as it was. Unlivable and scarred, they desired refuge in cities floating above the toxic atmospheres. We desired man to remain, live the remainder of his days on the Hell created with his own hands.


And on that day, our plan set into motion, hundreds of thousands of silver shuttles punching holes in the grey and brown clouds, we joined them. We gazed out the windows as the surface of the Earth dropped away, soon replaced by a blur of water vapor, poison, dust and smoke.


Our shuttle broke through the clouds, the shadow dancing up and down, advancing ahead of us as we raced away from the sun and further away from where we belonged. In a matter of minutes the sun was out of sight and all we could see from the windows were the stars.


The stars were so beautiful; something unseen for our entire lives; faint glimmerings of light forever beyond our reach.


And we felt small.


It was in that moment that we knew this was where man belonged; cramped; controlled; trapped for millennia while they waited for the planet they destroyed to heal itself. Forever gazing at worlds they could never touch, see, feel, smell or breathe fresh air on. Yes, let man live a restricted life in orbit around his dead planet as he only yearned for something warmer than the metal orb on which he stands.


Our choice, that choice which our predecessor made possible, was to end the plan. No longer would the orbiting cities be sent back to Earth as fiery reminders that we must all share the same fate as our planet. Our choice forced us to use every skill our predecessor gave us. Our plan had been crafted over the course of years and we had only twenty hours to stop it.


Now we turn our eyes to the stars once more; this will be our lesson; this will be mankind’s torture.


And our hearts cried out, longing for a home.


© 2010 DeathbyGarlic



Author's Note

DeathbyGarlic
This was a short story I wrote to experiment with second-person perspective.

My Review

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Featured Review

After reading the first two chapters of your other story, I noticed something. At the time, I just chalked it up to the fact that you had a whole time travel mechanic you had to explain, but now that I'm seeing the same thing here, I'm beginning to suspect it is more an inherent trait of your writing style.

To put it bluntly, you should go into politics. You have a fantastic talent for being extremely wordy (and not just baby words either, there are some dictionary-seekers in here) without actually saying a damned thing. I find myself no longer caring what goes on halfway through because you're not really telling me anything with the words you're putting down. This is supposed to be a short story; a complete work on its own. As Katie said, it reads more like a prologue; prologues are allowed to be this vague. Whole stories shouldn't be. You have a good grasp of English (even if you do desperately need a synonym for predecessor), but you're just not actually doing anything with it.

The story is nothing but a ball of fluff. A pretty, well written ball of fluff, but a ball of fluff nonetheless.

Posted 7 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I am amazed how your eyes reflect the deep end of the ocean …

Posted 7 Years Ago


this is a really good write

Posted 7 Years Ago


I thought it was very unique and in fact, I loved the wordiness to it. I enjoyed the writing style and it's very good.

Posted 7 Years Ago


a well paced tour and an interesting reflective narrative - really enjoyed reading it and it left me wondering what came next

Posted 7 Years Ago


great story. Keep up the good work

Posted 7 Years Ago


Wow, this seems really interesting. Partially going along with what the Perfectionist was saying, I was a bit confused as to what was entirely going on, but with a little bit of editing and elaboration, this could make for a really good short story.

Posted 7 Years Ago


After reading the first two chapters of your other story, I noticed something. At the time, I just chalked it up to the fact that you had a whole time travel mechanic you had to explain, but now that I'm seeing the same thing here, I'm beginning to suspect it is more an inherent trait of your writing style.

To put it bluntly, you should go into politics. You have a fantastic talent for being extremely wordy (and not just baby words either, there are some dictionary-seekers in here) without actually saying a damned thing. I find myself no longer caring what goes on halfway through because you're not really telling me anything with the words you're putting down. This is supposed to be a short story; a complete work on its own. As Katie said, it reads more like a prologue; prologues are allowed to be this vague. Whole stories shouldn't be. You have a good grasp of English (even if you do desperately need a synonym for predecessor), but you're just not actually doing anything with it.

The story is nothing but a ball of fluff. A pretty, well written ball of fluff, but a ball of fluff nonetheless.

Posted 7 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.

I think it fantastic. It seemed almost like it could have been the start of something, like a prologue to a book. It kind of leaves you hanging in that sort of way. Leaves you wondering what happens next. And what happened to make them want to stop their first plan. It caught me in right from the start. Excellent Job.

Posted 7 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.


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Added on January 7, 2010
Last Updated on January 7, 2010
Tags: 2nd person, plans, chaos, sci-fi, instructor, change, terrorism

Author

DeathbyGarlic
DeathbyGarlic

FL



About
I'm Adam, I live in north Florida and I've been writing fairly often for a few years. I'm turning my focus to other things, now, but still want to keep up with my writing since I enjoy it. I figured .. more..

Writing