Consideration in a Cemetery

Trigger Warning for self harm and suicide

I sit on a hill above an old cemetery 

Most of the stones have been forgotten long ago

Very few flowers dot the landscape between graves

The stones have been neglected, leaning in an untidy row

I absent mindedly run my fingers across the uneven skin on my wrist

They are covered in a mixture of violence, scars old and cuts new

"Why did they have to die? They probably loved their life...and it's gone."

I doubt they wanted to die like me. If there are any, very few

I closed my eyes and longed  to be a name on a headstone here

I feel like I'm being crushed by life already, what's a few feet deeper?

I'm trapped. I have nothing ahead of me. I'm just blowing time by being alive.

I lie down on my back and fantasize to join them. To become an eternal sleeper.

I try to work up the courage every couple weeks but I never can do it.

I don't know what I'm afraid of. No one to care, no where to be.

I look down at them jealously at the peace they must feel

Then a thought strikes me....or are they looking jealously up at me?

Author's Note

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Reviews

[MM.P]

I loved the ending of this. It felt so sad, and almost angry, i found myself wanting to reach out and hold the person feeling this way. Then there was a little tease of light at the end, that maybe the people who have passed whished to be alive. Ah. i loved it.

[Death's Poet]

Thank you SO much! This is my return to writing after a hiatus. I decided to channel my feelings into this