Not Today

Not Today

 

 

The waves are crashing

While spray is splashing

 

High into the starry night

Yet I think it feels so right

 

I hear you calling out to me

Come on let me set you free

 

My burning pain now hotter

Inviting cool churning water

 

Moving toward the very edge

Oh will you keep your pledge

 

Can this really be my peace?

To just let all things cease?

 

The sea is gently calling

As I think now of falling

 

So I turn and walk away

Smiling maybe not today…

 

3/15/2009

By Debra Edwards

Reviews

[Creepy Swine Guy]

I like your use of couplets in this poem and I like it's very simple nature while dealing with a deadly serious topic. Often people try to write in grandiose prose when quiet simple words are so much more elegant.

Have you ever considered writing outside of the binds of rhyme? I ask because this is a less constricted rhyme than the ABAB form that you often employ and you seem to have taken to it nicely. Makes me wonder what you might do with all binds removed.

[Ellen Hammond]

Very nice meter and rhyming sequence. Almost as hypnotic as the sea can be. Lovely bittersweet write. Thanks for sharing.

Hugs,
Ellen