Saving up wishes for a rainy day

this is intense emotinally for me , it is about child abuse if you miss it

The bright lightning crackles,
The thunder roars its dominance
And the earth watches
While the storm rages onward madly
Blinding me like a curtain


Rain like static is falling
And thunder screams out an angry chorus
Like me as fists strike
Like lightning carving
Dimples onto my soul

The storm hides in my mirror
I wish that I could cry
As openly as the sky
I wish bruises could dissipate
As fast as clouds


I sit alone in the dark,
  With only my own pain,
And rain outside,
Only then do I realize
Wishes don't come true
 

Reviews

[...]

... moved to tears ... i know this pain ... 100/100 ... and you definitely get my vote ...

[Domo]

A good write indeed. I liked how the description went deep, but not deep enough to bore the reader. Good job on his write and keep up the good work! ☺
~D♥m♥~

[Lexi Nicole]

Very nicely written. I love how you use aspects of a storm to describe human pain- clouds are like bruises, rain is tears. This is a painfully beautiful piece. A lot of emotion comes from it. Well done!

-Howl

[Gathering_Stars]

At first I didn't really like this piece, but upon rereading it I really do like a lot of the euphemisms that you used, it's great

[Awake.&.Unafraid]

I wish that I could cry
As openly as the sky
I wish bruises could dissipate
As fast as clouds

This is the verse that really got to me, how beautiful the words that are describing such ugliness is heart wrenching. I have often felt that way, and you word it so beautifully. This is a great poem full of emotion.

[~angelalala~]

"I sit alone in the dark,
With only my own pain,
And rain outside,
Only then do I realize
Wishes don't come true" it's taken me a long time, but i've come to this realization too. an intense & dark piece of writing, so sad, & raw. "The storm hides in my mirror" i love the metaphor of this storm you've created. a great write.

[[untitled]]

I wish that I could cry
As openly as the sky
I wish bruises could dissipate
As fast as clouds


beautiful..... the feeling of pure helplessness.. the slaughter of hopes... its really heart wrenching...

[Adela Muresan]

Astonishting conbination of emotions and natural phenomenas.
The imagery is great, and the last two verses express more than seven sad poems.

Wonderful piece ---> post in more contests.

A.M.

[darkgurl]

such a deep an demotional write written so well....Kim