To the Right of Orion

To the Right of Orion

A Poem by Delmar Cooper
"

For the Arabs the ability to see certain stars was a test of eyesight.

"

To the right of Orion

 

 

Near Aldebaran, in Taurus

Two faint stars in tandem fly,

And though I cannot see them now

You may, with your younger eye.

I own those stars, or I owned one

 For one was mine and hers the other

When we claimed the night and one another.

 The constancy of stars proved beyond my scope

And from a million regrets I retain one hope:

That somewhere, in this night’s perfection

She will look up, in that direction


© 2014 Delmar Cooper



Author's Note

Delmar Cooper
comments and criticism welcome

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Featured Review

Maybe it's just me but this line (I own those stars, or I owned one) "own, owned" trips me up every time I read it.

You have some great phrasing, my favorite being (And from a million regrets I retain one hope), that line alone is a full story within its self. Masterly crafted and intellectually stimulating, after reading it I found my mind's eye gazing to the stars. Thank you for the mental stimulation and emotional inspiration :~)

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Delmar Cooper

2 Years Ago

Thanks for reading. Several lines in that one trip me up.



Reviews

This is a beautiful, creative, & original way to say something often expressed in poetry: I miss her! I wasn't sure where this was going, as I read. I love lines #3 & 4, but the overall meaning is still a bit mysterious at this point. Little by little, the crux of your message becomes apparent, which is a nicely-crafted parallel to the idea of not being able to see the stars so well anymore. Interesting assortment of rhyming lines (I don't believe rhymes have to be perfectly structured). We are left with a poignant longing (((HUGS))) fondly, Margie

Posted 1 Month Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Delmar Cooper

1 Month Ago

I appreciate your thoughts. A very imperfect writing about very perfect stars.
Maybe it's just me but this line (I own those stars, or I owned one) "own, owned" trips me up every time I read it.

You have some great phrasing, my favorite being (And from a million regrets I retain one hope), that line alone is a full story within its self. Masterly crafted and intellectually stimulating, after reading it I found my mind's eye gazing to the stars. Thank you for the mental stimulation and emotional inspiration :~)

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Delmar Cooper

2 Years Ago

Thanks for reading. Several lines in that one trip me up.
Very lovely poem, I love constellations and stars. I like the three last lines, I like it when even though a story or poem is sad the writer writes of hope at the end.

Posted 2 Years Ago


of course she does... I do.. every once in a while.. some things are indelibly scribbled on the inside of one's memory... and when I read your poem I had to look again.. a little to the right... a good writer will entice the reader into doing just that..

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Delmar Cooper

3 Years Ago

thanks for reading the poem and your generous comments
The narrator eloquently uses the timeless elements of stars and love. Nostalgically, he out one night, explains constellations to perhaps his prodigy.

Stands there, a younger man, perhaps confounded by new love, receiving the experience of the wiser narrator. Let the narrator expound how love is gained and lost and the mystery of it all resides up in the sky.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Delmar Cooper

4 Years Ago

Thanks for your fine appreciation of this little rhyme. That is pretty much it - perhaps the old ma.. read more
m.s.early

4 Years Ago

Good judgement comes from experience and most of that comes from bad judgement. :)
wow, i love the descriptions and imagery in this poem. it is refreshing, especially the title. i just have one suggestion, and that is, if "near Aldebaran in Taurus" is where the stars are, and you want this person to look to those couple of stars, and if the quoted phrase is the same as "to the right of Orion", i would (in my case) change the last phrase in the poem, that is, 'in that direction' to "to the right of Orion". thank you for sharing this poem :)

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Delmar Cooper

4 Years Ago

Thanks for the review and your gracious comments. About that last line, I'm going to pass on your s.. read more

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Added on January 16, 2014
Last Updated on January 16, 2014

Author

Delmar Cooper
Delmar Cooper

Trussville, AL



About
I write- a little. I don't write to reinvent the wheel, or discover fire. I just drag along from sentence to sentence hoping for a spark. more..

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