Dandelions in the Fall

Growing up is a wild and tangled thing.

Two kids grew up behind school yard swings
Into a boy of twelve and a girl of thirteen.
Small flowers were born in that small field.
Yellow petals smeared across both of their cheeks.
Whispers teaching about what life was.
The birds and the bees buzzed their hopeful song.
He held his hands clasped tight
And she held onto hers-
Afraid that when their fingers touched,
His lips would find hers.
She knew he loved her
And she loved him.
Afternoons spent beneath the brilliant sunshine.
Petals of dove’s wings, dust made of gold-
Pressed to her forehead-
The love of so young a boy, made too old.

But then things changed
As oft they do.
And the field of gold
Was left to
New voices that played behind those swings.
Life led the two friends worlds apart.
For a time, a quiet phone call kept the other informed.
Too little they met in an unlit place
And when they did, so did their lips.
Soon, for the girl, new friends took his place.
Soon, for the boy, kisses pressed onto another’s face.
And alone and apart, the two kids explored their worlds.
Hands now roamed free, no longer clasped
To new friends and loves, as they came and passed.
The girl met a new boy, who had love in his eyes,
But smoke had filled his hand and his head.
The boy made love to a new girl, who had love in her eyes,
As the birds and the bees buzzed their solemn song.

One day, their worlds met again,
But their lips did not.
He had scars on his hands
From all they had touched.
She had scars on her lips from all they had brushed.
They tried speaking of life
As they had as small kids-
Two kids so young behind old school yard swings.
But they’d found that life
Was much less than it seemed-
Not the beautiful buzz of their innocent dreams.
She knew he still loved her
And she still loved him.
But just as occurs at the end of the fall,
The dove petals dried up, and the gold dust fell away.
The friendship had gone.
White dandelion seeds blown in the wind.

Author's Note

An older piece. Not my best.
I see a few places that could use work.
Tell me what ya think.

Reviews

[Annelise]

I think this is beautiful. It eloquently portrays that passing of time. It is a very visual poem and melancholy, which is hard to come by now days. It makes for a very well written, piece that leaves you sitting for a moment, thinking.

"He had scars on his hands
From all they had touched.
She had scars on her lips from all they had brushed."

I love the image this line portrays, you don't use too many words and it makes for a lovely piece.

[Poeticpiers]

I liked the concept. contained a lot of truth. However your delivery in free form if read aloud is jerky The differing line lengths make this unavoidable.
Perhaps a litte attention to meter would improve the flow

Wow this is truly beautiful, and heartfelt, and so very sad.
The story comes through well and I love the "bird and the bee's".
-Nice Write-
-ST

[Katie]

Oh dear. You made me cry!
The "story" of the poem is perfect, just let down slightly by falls in you meter in places. I don't like the use of the word 'kids', but other than that your choice of words was very good. i wasn't too keen on the line breaks in the first stanza, either. It settled down into something more logical in the second and third, but just look back over the first stanza - you may find you don't need the end-line punctuation there.
I really loved the final stanza "Two kids so young behind old school yard swings.
But they'd found that life
Was much less than it seemed-
Not the beautiful buzz of their innocent dreams"