A Puddle's Reflection

A Puddle's Reflection

A Poem by Lilia

It’s dark.

 

A mirror, reflecting a monster.

 

Only a slight part of the person I knew remains.

 

The darkness has consumed the rest that is familiar to me.

 

Have I not searched everywhere for where the light has gone?

 

I feel it swirling around my head, avoiding my eyes every time I try to see it.

 

It plays tricks on me, though I do not understand why.

 

Has the light truly abandoned my depressed soul?

 

The image grows murky, I don’t know who I am.

 

Why am I different now, have I changed?

 

The puddle holding my reflection…

 

It has gone dark.

 

It’s gone.


© 2017 Lilia



Author's Note

Lilia
Thanks for reading, please rate and review (give me some pointers!)

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Featured Review

Hello! Okay, first off this is fantastic. There are some places you could improve, though. For one, it may be beneficial to involve the reader a bit more in the emotions of the subject, who appears to be experiencing a loss of identity. Perhaps the subject is terrified? Or desperate? You do a great job with repetition, perhaps you could utilize it a bit more? And a bit more description would be cool. For example, the line about darkness consuming familiarity. What does this darkness feel like? Does it slowly consume or rapidly devour? Overall an amazing poem, yet there's small stuff that might make it more effective. This is all just my opinion of course, you don't need to mind it. I just really think this has a lot of promise. Great job!

Posted 5 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I like this-- it has symmetry in both form and meaning-- not an easy feat to pull off!

Posted 1 Month Ago


Hello! Okay, first off this is fantastic. There are some places you could improve, though. For one, it may be beneficial to involve the reader a bit more in the emotions of the subject, who appears to be experiencing a loss of identity. Perhaps the subject is terrified? Or desperate? You do a great job with repetition, perhaps you could utilize it a bit more? And a bit more description would be cool. For example, the line about darkness consuming familiarity. What does this darkness feel like? Does it slowly consume or rapidly devour? Overall an amazing poem, yet there's small stuff that might make it more effective. This is all just my opinion of course, you don't need to mind it. I just really think this has a lot of promise. Great job!

Posted 5 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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Vic
I like how you used the physical structure of the poem to determine the flow.

Posted 5 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I love the darkness of this, it's so true.

Posted 6 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

A powerful ride in your words. You wrote of how life changes us. Sometimes not for the better.
"The image grows murky, I don’t know who I am.
Why am I different now, have I changed?"
I understand the above lines. Hard to regain the innocence of youth after we abused her. Thank you Lilia for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote



Posted 6 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lilia

6 Months Ago

Thank you so much, Coyote! It means a lot to me
Coyote Poetry

6 Months Ago

Was my pleasure and you are welcome.
You touch on an image many relate with...

Sometimes we have company as we walk our paths but sometimes we don't.

Posted 6 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Depressingly dark. Well written and i love the set up of the piece.

Great read

Matthew

Posted 6 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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8 Reviews
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Added on May 24, 2017
Last Updated on May 24, 2017
Tags: depressed, depression, puddle, death, saddness, poetry, sad, poetic, dark, grim, upset, hopeless, abandoned, hope, fear, terror, love, wanting

Author

Lilia
Lilia

WI



About
I'm a teen writer and YouTuber that is battling depression. Please check out my channel, the name is Depression&Tea. Thanks! more..

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