A Puddle's Reflection

It’s dark.

 

A mirror, reflecting a monster.

 

Only a slight part of the person I knew remains.

 

The darkness has consumed the rest that is familiar to me.

 

Have I not searched everywhere for where the light has gone?

 

I feel it swirling around my head, avoiding my eyes every time I try to see it.

 

It plays tricks on me, though I do not understand why.

 

Has the light truly abandoned my depressed soul?

 

The image grows murky, I don’t know who I am.

 

Why am I different now, have I changed?

 

The puddle holding my reflection…

 

It has gone dark.

 

It’s gone.

Author's Note

Thanks for reading, please rate and review (give me some pointers!)

Reviews

[cbastien]

Hello! Okay, first off this is fantastic. There are some places you could improve, though. For one, it may be beneficial to involve the reader a bit more in the emotions of the subject, who appears to be experiencing a loss of identity. Perhaps the subject is terrified? Or desperate? You do a great job with repetition, perhaps you could utilize it a bit more? And a bit more description would be cool. For example, the line about darkness consuming familiarity. What does this darkness feel like? Does it slowly consume or rapidly devour? Overall an amazing poem, yet there's small stuff that might make it more effective. This is all just my opinion of course, you don't need to mind it. I just really think this has a lot of promise. Great job!

[Nolo Segundo]

I like this-- it has symmetry in both form and meaning-- not an easy feat to pull off!

[Vic]

I like how you used the physical structure of the poem to determine the flow.

[Suzanah]

I love the darkness of this, it's so true.

[Coyote Poetry]

A powerful ride in your words. You wrote of how life changes us. Sometimes not for the better.
"The image grows murky, I don’t know who I am.
Why am I different now, have I changed?"
I understand the above lines. Hard to regain the innocence of youth after we abused her. Thank you Lilia for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Lilia]

Thank you so much, Coyote! It means a lot to me

[Coyote Poetry]

Was my pleasure and you are welcome.

[Chris]

You touch on an image many relate with...

Sometimes we have company as we walk our paths but sometimes we don't.

[Matthew Kult]

Depressingly dark. Well written and i love the set up of the piece.

Great read

Matthew