Meaning of Life

I had to write a paper about the meaning of my life for English class, and it got a lot deeper than I am usually comfortable sharing. Enjoy.

When I first began to write my paper for this project, it came out to be rather depressing. I am a person with depression and anxiety, and that was exactly what my paper reflected. I did not think twice about it, for I thought that was who I was. The first paragraph ended with, “Why have I ever chosen life? It seems that life has brought me to every bad area I could go at this point in time. Depression lurks around every corner I turn, waiting to consume me once more.” I managed to confuse myself with my depression. I thought nothing of the depressing theme that my paper had. I gave it to a friend to read. That friend read it and looked at me. She said, “You are wanted here, Lily.”

            I thought nothing of those words at the time. I simply laughed, not willing to accept that what my friend said was true. “You are wanted here” was not something I told myself often, if ever. Then, while going home after seeing a movie with my father, I was thinking about what we had just watched. “The Lego Batman Movie” was what we had saw, which is an extremely well-done film. Though the movie was a comical children’s cartoon, the message that it had was extraordinary.

            Batman is an orphan. He knew that he was loved by everyone, but he still felt alone. He did not have a family. He acknowledged love, but he did not feel it. The man did not feel truly loved, and can you blame him? He had lost the only people he cared about. I myself have not had that happen to me, but that does not mean I haven’t lost people. However, this is about the meaning of my life… not the people that made me feel like there was no meaning to life.

            I have been told that I should not base my life meaning off other people, but would my life mean anything without other people? I would be lonely, I would be nothing. I would never be able to be what I want to be… a friend.

            Doesn’t that sound childish? I want to be a friend. I, Lilia Genevieve, have the life goal of being a friend. Let me explain. My past has not been the best. I’ve said, done, and thought things that I would never want anyone else to. I have been bullied, threatened, and tortured. I stuck with friends, even when they were far past done with me. I’ve been called ugly, weird, dumb, “Lily the loser,” a liar, and other things that I would prefer not to repeat. Do those things represent the meaning of my life?

            To answer that, no. Those things represent what has made me who I am. All my struggle has turned me into the person that I am and am trying to be today. I am trying to be a friend. I also forgot to mention all the good things that have happened in my life. I have had countless friends. When I was in kindergarten, a boy walked up to me at random and told me I was beautiful. My two brothers hung out with me, even though I was always their annoying little sister. I came to a new school to escape, and I found people that have already helped to turn my depression upside-down. “You are wanted here, Lily.”

            I had no idea. I had no idea that being a friend was so important. Why I didn’t see that before is completely strange to me, for I now see what a significant impact the friends in my life have had on me. Friends have caused my depression, and friends have taken it almost completely away, even if it’s just for a moment of insane laughter. Losing friends is something very common, but even when they’re gone, what they taught me remains. I want to be a friend. I am wanted here by my friends and family, even if it doesn’t feel like that sometimes. The people around me affect me in every way, and I affect the people around me as well. I am wanted here, and you are wanted here. We are all wanted by somebody. Therefore, being a friend and having a friend is so important. That is the meaning of my life.

Author's Note

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Reviews

[fadingtale]

This essay is really moving! Thank you for entering in the inspiration contest!

[Margaret M.]

Congratulations! You are a finalist! Your essay was deeply moving to me, and reminded me of a similar time in my life. You are a wonderful writer and a wise person. May you have all the best friends in the world!