The Devil's son

It about the Devil's son

Cement dust rose from the floor and filled the room, candles and broken glasses were scattered on the floor from the crushed chandelier, people's coughs echoed round the room, Satan's heart raced he got up from his seat, he was sweating weakness was slowly making it's way into his body, he could not believe what he saw and what was about to happen to his kingdom Abrel tossed one of his best guard across the room as if he were a can of coke. Craina took out half of the semicircle when he crushed into it.

Satan could still see Craina's body spin in mid air like a piece of paper, he waved a hand in front of his eyes to clear the dust ,the half remaining occupants of the semicircle remained in their seats stunned, their blue robes were coated in dust "like i said no one will stand in my way hell is mine your time as king has come to an end Satan" Abrel's voice rose above the echoing coughs his golden armor glowed in the dust. As the dust being to settle Satan made out Abrel's tall figure standing with his head turned toward the rubble of concrete, Abrel stared at the body of Craina which lay prone on top the concrete rubble, bodies in blue robes were scattered all over the floor, Abrel smiled and turned his stare toward Satan who was standing, his white hair was made even whiter by the dust, his ruler like face looked like it was about to crack, curling his right hand into a fist Abrel lunged forward toward Satan. Seeing Abrel come at him in full power Satan disappeared from his seat and reappeared in a holding cell of souls panting he crouched and put one hand on his keen to catch his breathe, the souls formed a circle round him fear was painted of the soul's faces, Satan stared at the souls who had formed a circle round him. He noticed a soul of a teen age girl he sprung forward grabbed her by the hand and pulled her close to him "Go find Gabriel" he whispered into her ear and threw her up into the air and she vanished before hitting the ground

Author's Note

Be brutal and honest i need your help to grow as a writer

Reviews

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

I liked it.
It was very different and cleaver to think of this kind of topic.
I think it would have been cool if you made Satan's son actually good not evil, not wanting to follow in his fathers footsteps, trying to save the people and the kingdom.
Though the way you have done it is good to :)
It was very detailed which is good in a story, so you have that down.
I couldn't correct you on grammar because im even worse lol.
I didn't really see much a problem with it.
I enjoyed it.
I feel like it could have gone longer though, into like a whole book kind of thing.
But great work, i enjoyed the read :)