Numbness

Numbness

A Poem by Mika =^-^=

For many years the words "I love you"
were words that were kept in silence,
this small room that we built is filled with curses
still haunts me 'till this day.

I always tried to tell you how I feel
but you always seemed to shut my words down
no matter how hard I've tried 
in your eyes I just never added up.

I questioned myself every day,
wondering why am I here?
ever since three years ago,
my wounds opened and bled because of your hate.

Sometimes I wonder if I failed you as a daughter.

If I could hold back the hate
would you take time to numb yourself,
so you can understand how I lived,
for many years I've tried to be perfect
but nothing I've ever done was good enough
if I could tell you I want to forget
would you take my regret,
I'm loosing sight of myself.

This darkness that overcast us
created a dysfunctional life,
would you ever take time
to analyze everything?

Sometimes I wonder how you remember things
because when I look back, your hate became mine
it's been a long lonely three years 
but ever since I left the hospital bed
my wounds never mended.

If I could hold back the hate
would you take time to numb yourself,
so you can understand how I lived,
for many years I've tried to be perfect
but nothing I've ever done was good enough
If I could tell you I want to forget
would you take my regret,
I'm loosing sight of myself.

Ever since
I felt like I don't have a place to call home
all I want is to run away and pretend everything is okay
but in my moments of silence my cry grows louder
and no matter how hard I try to forget
I can't bare to let it go,
please forgive me, but I can't forgive you for now.

If I could hold back the hate
would you take time to numb yourself,
so you can understand how I lived
for many years I've tried to be perfect
but nothing I ever done was good enough
If I could tell you I want to forget
would you take my regret,
I'm loosing sight of myself.

I've numb myself.

© 2017 Mika =^-^=



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Reviews

A very thought provoking poem your pain and suffering oozes from this and instead of dwelling on the dissaproval you have created a beautiful poem I will be reading more of your work a great piece

Posted 3 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Mika =^-^=

3 Months Ago

Thank you very much.
*Welcome to "Pure Rhymes" Thanks for joining, great to have you...!*

If I could take it back... I just do not know... Anything but numbing... But all I know is apathy... Blood is as thick as water... That is not thick... Who needs 'em...

Posted 3 Months Ago


Some nights ya just NEED and the sheer HURT from feeling turned away and another's angry just burns deep. Frustrations grow and your own anger turns toward yourself... and the WHYs just rush in - round and round. You gave a fair view of manys now.

Posted 4 Months Ago


a bad situation,it really hurts when you don`t feel love from your father or mother

Posted 4 Months Ago


 wordman

4 Months Ago

sorry to hear that,you was probably stressed out
Mika =^-^=

4 Months Ago

that's what I'm thinking as well.
 wordman

4 Months Ago

well i`m sure it didn`t help matters

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Added on October 23, 2017
Last Updated on October 23, 2017

Author

Mika =^-^=
Mika =^-^=

San Diego , CA



About
I just write to express myself, because is hard for me to express verbally but in writing, I can let every ounce of emotion out. more..

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