My Brick Road

Even at 20, my parents are still trying to control my life. Having me live out the lives they've always wanted to live.

My Brick Road

 

I don’t need to be controlled

You can’t treat me like a doll

You can’t place me on a bed

Position my arms

Position my legs

Tilt my head a certain way

And expect me to stay

Looking all pretty

 

You can’t treat me like a dog

Tell me to sit

Tell me to stay

Tell me to roll over

Put a treat in front of me

And have me not devour it

 

You can’t treat me like a puppet

Tug my strings

Have me move on your command

Every movement

Is because of you

 

I’ve let you control me

For so many years

Now I’m all grown up

And I’m ready to make my own path

Walk along my freshly laid out bricks

I can’t have you breathing down my neck

Motioning me in one direction

 

That direction

That decision

Is mine to make

Not yours

Not his

Not hers

It’s mine

I’ll be damned if you take that from me

 

I’m not your doll

I’m not your dog

I’m not your puppet

I’m my own person

Deal with it

Or close your eyes

And pretend your little girl

Isn’t little anymore 

Reviews

[GunMetal]

My parents were assertive but never overly-controlling. I've known people with overbearing parents though, and I know it must suck.On their behalf I appreciate this. Just remember that sometimes we let ourselves be controlled, even if we don't realize it, because it's much easier than taking that control for ourselves. Good write.

[A.]

So, i didn't read the little thing about the parents at first and i totally thought this was a story about rape, so i was really sad :/ but, i can totally relate to the parent thing. My parents try and control everything I do, it's highly annoying.

[kublakhan27]

K I'm still in the process of going through all of your stuff though I think I've read most of it by now, and I think this is my favourite to this point...

[John Stussy]

Good strong bite to this poem. It isn't always easy to say these sorts of words to your parents, but they're needed at some point or another. You're shaping your life as you see it ought to be now, and it'll be a beautiful life worth living. Keep staying strong, and explore new paths in life to see which direction is the right one for you to go.

[Urosh D. Stojanovic]

Amazing! I love the title of the poem as much as the poem itself. Great write!

[Laura Maidah]

The repetition detracts from the power of your concept. Aural motif is practically irrelevant because of it, like in a cheap turn of a pop song. Sorry.

[Destinyxi]

Hm, most people would say that repetition underlines the point, but ok then.

[Laura Maidah]

I get that it is a useful delineation sometimes. But it combats the structural phonetics and tone of this particular piece. Just a thought.

[Destinyxi]

Does it? There isn't much of a structure to this poem haha, just a few stanzas, that's all.

[Laura Maidah]

Yeah. Just an edit ought to wip it into shape.

[Newspaper Skeleton]

Wow. Powerful and wonderful and impressive.

[Kes]

This is great. My parents are doing the same kind of thing to me at the moment, so I really feel this. But I think you put the emotion across so well that I wouldn't have to have experienced it to understand.
Great work. :)
K

[Coyote Poetry]

Always come a time when a person must stand their ground. Being a adult and having responsibilities make us grow up and make us want to decide our life decisions. I like the complete poem and the strong ending. Thank you for the outstanding poem.
Coyote

[R.A. Youngblood]

This is very powerful and it leads straight to the point, no rhyming is making this even better. I didn't noticed any grammatic error, so i think it's clean.
I read it more times cause it's fast no matter of it's length.
Thanks for sharing..Keep it up buddy :D