Wars for love do come

Love is what you want, love is not just between boys and girls, love is between you and your mom, your siblings, and you have one day of your life,when you did something to achieve THEIR love too...

Wars for love do come,

With a flickering spark of pain,

In another fume,

Carrying a bubbling tune,

They come all over again…

Wars between choices looming around,

It’s either love,

or your entire world.

You choose and you loose,

Since love invited it all.

Wars between sacrifices and gains,

It is for love, more than it’s your love

You either endow the eternal self

or fail to receive,

the long awaited love.

After all it’s the thirst for love that infuriates it all.

Wars between acceptance and rejection,

Make you and your spirits break down.

They threaten you the most,

having your love dangling on the edge,

But don’t ever give up,

rise up for the love that started it all.

Oh these wars,

they come with risks,

But no insurance to support it all.

They come as a opportunity,

A chance to win,

the golden feeling of receiving love.

If you win all these wars,

Never feel it’s once and for all,

Cause they come in another fume,

Carrying a bubbling tune,

All over again.

Author's Note

So this is a little experiment for poetry. Just trying if I am good at writing it. I would really appreciate your reviews! Please tell me all I need to improve on it. Anything else is welcome!

Reviews

[Jack Necron (Aubrey Jac..]

I'd say your experiment was successful, this is a great write. You craft some strong lines here and the message rings out loudly throughout. The title and theme reminded me of the song "Love is a Battlefield" by Pat Benatar. For your age you display a lot of potential. Thank you for sharing this!

[Devanshi]

Thanks for the review!

[Jack Necron (Aubrey Jack Peaslee)]

You're welcome!

[Shabeeh Haider]

All is fair in love and war.
A very good effort by a 13 year old.

[Devanshi]

Thanks for the review!!

[Valentine]

For only 13 years old you are doing a great job sweetie. Just keep on writing and you will grow. Valentine

[Devanshi]

Thank you for for your kind review! It's nice to have you review it! 😊

[Eyes_in_the_Dark]

Amazing poem! I love the way you compared war and love. even though these two ideas are completely different you managed to make them sound similar. Great job!

[Devanshi]

Thank you for reviewing it!!!! I am glad you're back...you were my first friend after all...!

[Dr. YumnaKay]

"Wars between choices looming around,
It’s either love,
or your entire world.
You choose and you loose,
Since love invited it all."
I so agree!! Love shouldn't be bounded between the opposite genders.. Its all over the place... Good write and nice idea given here..

[Anindita Janhabee]

Wars of love...
Doesn't that sound interesting? obviously I will say this is what will take you ahead...
Think about the time you were writing this... Wasn't that enjoyable?
This poem has got feelings and goes to the readers' heart flawlessly. The way of presenting is very nice along with the repetition of first and last lines... I like the entire Poem with its every sense of meaning...
You are doing well. Go ahead with this. Stay blessed!!!

[Devanshi]

Thank you for the review!! Your words mean a lot to me and they are really inspiring too!

[Anindita Janhabee]

My pleasure...
god bless you!!!

[Swati Nayak]

Nice poem Devanshi.All of us somehow immersed in a state of war , knowingly or unknowingly .
Keep writing more jewels .

by the way I am a great fan of hunger games too.

[Devanshi]

Oh really!!! The hunger games is amazing!!! But the Mockingjay becomes worse, like all bad things happening and there is no way you can imagine a happy ending!! And thanks for reviewing and reading!!

[Swati Nayak]

My pleasure

[Diamond]

Its very well written. You may want to condense it further so the message is crisp and short. Its an excellent idea you projected. Well done. Keep writing.

[Devanshi]

Thank you for reading and reviewing it, Queen!!! I am glad you reviewed it!!
"You may want to condense it further so the message is crisp and short."
Hmmm. Ok! I'll work on it a bit more...😊

[Diamond]

You are welcome. Do keep writing...:)

[Homason]

Well conveyed poetry. I love the first two stanzas and the last- uniquely patterned. Special lines I like:
"You choose and you loose,
Since love invited it all."
"It is for love, more than it’s your love."
I wouldn't include the 4th and 5th or better apply for editing. The connection began to wane and drift.(personal though).

The most complex and simplest of all things in the world. But it's the greatest of all gifts -love.
Welldone!

- Homason.

[Devanshi]

Thanks for the review, Homason!! It's good you liked it. So you mean I should edit the 4th and 5th stanzas or should I remove them? They got off topic--Is that what you're saying?? Thank you again for reading and reviewing this!

[Homason]

I think it's best for you to decide. But i'll say the anxiety/enthusiasm dropped from there as I said earlier. I like these lines of the latter I suggested "Oh these wars,
they come with risks,
But no insurance to support it all."
U see why it's your choice?

[Devanshi]

Hmm. I know I'll have to choose, but I'm really confused. Can you guide me on what to edit or remove?

[Homason]

Just think and let the feeling guide your hands as the mind is inspired by God. You have all the answers you seek reviewed and more in view. Keep the passion alive.

[Devanshi]

Ok. Thanks for the motivating words. 😊

[Homason]

You're welcome.

[tanmay7551]

Amazing! Never looked like an experiment but a well crafted gem out of beautiful words.
If written by me, I would have gone for another title - 'Wars of the mind' , just a personal choice.

Below lines were too good as per me:

If you win all these wars,
Never feel it’s once and for all,
Cause they come in another fume,

[Devanshi]

Thanks for the review! It means a lot for me!!