Sui generis

That moment you enjoy something beautiful at the right place and time.

The rain goes, and with it the sun;

the light and liquid of a day

which has nothing to say

to a young girl who has just run

up to her house's balcony

in excitement to see

a glimpse that's worthy of the sound,

the muffled music of the tide,

that she'd heard from inside.

I notice her, and having found

what she's been looking for, smiling

at me from the railing.

Disregarding the dusk, which blends

the leaf, the water and the bark

into one whole dark,

the breathless admirer bends

to touch the final gold that lingers,

with her heart in her fingers.

Reviews

[Richard Man]

Dinesh I find the whole poem utterly pleasant. Each stanza is almost a haiku but refreshingly not rigidly bound by that tradition yet presenting a scene one has to journey through in order to pass on to the next. I love the references to light, the natural flow from light to dark. The water element enhances this. I think the girl's loveliness has taken his breath away: a great image. I am a little muddled by the last verse. Am I right when I say that the sun casts a shadow of her hand, the admirer then bends to touch it and feels the warmth of the sun. Or have I lost the point?

[Dinesh Sairam]

The "gold" in the last line refers to the last dew drop of the evening, which is lit up by the sun. I could have been more obvious, I just felt like playing a little hide-and-seek. Thanks for the review, sir.

[Coyote Poetry]

A very nice story. If we are lucky. We will glance at many beautiful things in a long life. I enjoyed the story and good places you took me in your words. Thank you for the excellent poem.
Coyote

[Aaran]

Great work! This is something very unique.. precious moments such as these that you describe in your poem prove at the end of the day that we aren't machines, but beings instilled with a greater power - to think, feel and appreciate... Your poem reminded of an incident not so long ago.. during the season's first rain my neighbor came to her doorstep with her one-year old daughter... i could see the expression on the little child's face.. something interspersed between awe and admiration... i guess that is what you called Sue generis!! This was very well thought of you Dinesh.. well done :)

[Moonflower]

I absolutely adore the last stanza. Good work, my friend

[willYam PaX]

a feeling of being in love. Great!

[Eloha]

This is exceptioanlly vivid, when you are able to match your technique with a good story, your poems improve to another level. I do hope you submit this one to my contest.

[Dinesh Sairam]

Hi, thanks for the compliment. But for some weird reason, it won't let me change it from 'story' to 'poetry'. That's the problem. I'll look into it.

[joshua deathdealer]

It doesn't get much better than this. Beautifully brilliant. Great mental perception shown here.

[Tate Morgan]

Girls are the ultimate romantics they start to dream at an early age of the wedding they will someday have And the perfect children and husband made of stone.It ios sad to see what life does to them sometimes when those dreams are far from reality

[Leslie Philibert]

Liked this a lot, it might be better to work on the second verse so that the rhyme scheme is consistant, something like
out of the front door, wishing to see more, ( maybe !)

[Dayran]

A glimpse and then it's gone to both the perceiver and the object of the perception.