One warm touch

Melt me from the frost, I'm coming to you.

In bleak evenings,

when the skies sent rain,

I sat beside

and watched the waters

rippling and breaking.

Nowadays, I come to you

in dream paths of calm darkness.

The candle flame has blown out,

the smoke dissolves with the fog;

I trudge through the blinding night.

The frost and cold tire my heart -

I need one warm touch from you.

Reviews

[the_stoic]

pining for love - that's what your write is precisely doing . i don't care for the pattern (although its appreciable that you have so much of technical knowledge regarding poetry) . not the best of your writes considering the choice of words but certainly creditable taking into account the beautiful imagery . keep writing

[∂αʌ<..]

whoah...passion...i could feel it!
:D

[...]

wonderful imagery and powerful wording, well written Dinesh.

[Kiari Sabon]

nice work

[~ Moonlight ~]

very touching and detailed. Good job, very well written.

[Neva Flores - Changeful..]

Nowadays, I come to you in dream paths of calm darkness........love this line. A beautiful piece Dinesh

[manyantlers]

HaHo,
Your words make me feel lonely and searching.
Life and Light!
TT-TTO-NI-K
Elk

[Hamkar]

Wow, this just captured me from the start. I like your pattern. I would like to experiment with patterns too now, and if I may be a little dumb, what is the 75 for?

[bbb]

This is beautifully written, a consistency in your work. I again admire the work that goes into true poetic forms. The second part of this can be interpreted a couple of ways...one being reality and the other being a dream lover. I absolutely loved it!

[Charles]

Love the way you experiment with different patterns. There are some good lines here, especially in the second stanza (not counting the 'but' as a stanza). Good work.

[Abdul Aziz]

Very good imagery. The topic is something you've always explored.. Yearning for that person who can take you away from desolation. I believe this write is smoother. You do not make the reader feel that you have purposely written this to suit the form. Good job on this one!