Written in the Stars

Written in the Stars

A Poem by Jordan Smith
"

This one is dedicated to my special person in my life :) Here's to my love

"
It is written in the stars
our love for each other.

It is written in the stars
the sparkle in your eyes.

Your brown hair
and red lips
paint the night sky
with the beauty of
a greek goddess

Your playful words
and beautiful soul
shoot through my heart
like Halley's comet through the night sky

It is written in the stars
that as long as you
follow the North Star,
it will always lead you home.

Well, it was written in the stars
that I follow
the North Star
and it led me
straight to you

© 2018 Jordan Smith


Author's Note

Jordan Smith
This is my first poem in a really long time. Let me know what I could have done better at and thanks for reading!

My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Featured Review

[send message][befriend] Subscribe
¿
Absolutely a blissful writing for someone special!
Her dazzling beauty and your falling for it....grabbing some details which else might ignore....and finally the intuitions of stars that towards north star will be your home found if you follow....actually when you did...in her you discovered your home....well I think at that time it was not only home but the whole universe was found for you in her!!
Thanks for this amazing soulful read Sir!😊

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Jordan Smith

5 Years Ago

Thank you for reading it and critiquing it! I am glad that it at least was, I assume, easy to follow.. read more
¿

5 Years Ago

An easy deep piece have always been my fave....You're heartedly welcomed😊!



Reviews

I enjoy the simplicity of this one. Whenever you are needing to relive or find a little love in your heart this seems like a great piece to visit and melt in.

For being your first piece in a while, I think you've done a nice job of engaging your reader and saying everything it feels like you needed or wanted to say - however, other than the description of your love it feels like it is lacking some of your personal flair... maybe that's just my opinion though- as all critiques really boil down to.

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Oh beautiful to have found a love so true - a meant to be that you were lead straight to that heart- when we believe all things are possible 🌹

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Jordan Smith

5 Years Ago

I'm glad you enjoyed it Rose Petal!
‘Thoughts In Time’🌹

5 Years Ago

My pleasure🌹
wow. really beautiful poem you written here. romantic and meaningful. I enjoyed it. thank you for sharing Jordan (:

-Angelina


Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Jordan Smith

5 Years Ago

Thank your for the review Angelina! I'm glad you enjoyed it!
A.G.

5 Years Ago

😊 your welcome
Sometimes there's nothing better than an expression of love. This poem is very beautifully and romantically written, and your feelings come across very strongly. This is a very sweet poem.

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Jordan Smith

5 Years Ago

Thank you Hannah! I appreciate that!
Some good old fashioned romance poetry. Well done.

In the second to last stanza, second line... the line break after 'you' kinda sorta f***s up the flow a little bit. It's extremely minor and I have no suggestions on how to fix that without drastically changing the stanza but I thought I'd point it out anyway. It could stay the same and not really matter, it's a good poem regardless of that.

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Jordan Smith

5 Years Ago

Thank you! I appreciate the critique.
Davidgeo

5 Years Ago

It was my pleasure
really sweet, liked it alot

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Jordan Smith

5 Years Ago

Thanks Light!
There are no words I can produce at this moment to describe the response I got from your work but it has touched my heart and given a new definition to the words "beauty is in the eyes of the beholder".

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Jordan Smith

5 Years Ago

Thank you for the praise! I am glad that you enjoyed this poem!
Adorable and beautiful felt.

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Jordan Smith

5 Years Ago

Thanks Dee! I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Onlyme

5 Years Ago

More so, thank you for sharing.
I don't know enough about poetry to offer suggestions., though I will mention the typo The Iron Horseman noted in stanza four: "shoots" should be "shoot". I'll just say that this piece is richly saturated with emotions - let that emotion guide your pen. I'm always a sucker for comparisons to space; anyone who shoots like Halley's Comet must be spectacular.

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This comment has been deleted by the poster.
Jordan Smith

5 Years Ago

Thank you Janeid! I'm glad you liked the poem!
Walking Despair

5 Years Ago

My apologies I meant to type it as a review and not a comment so I typed it again. Thank you for sha.. read more
Your poems gives a valuable lesson that to make a poetry beautiful and meaningful at the same time it's not necessary to include rhymes. Your songs seems to have a romantic tone tone although I am unable to figure out whether this poetry is really about romantic feelings of someone or about the narrator is displaying romanticism in other things instead of love. But a great read.

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Jordan Smith

5 Years Ago

Thanks for the review Shubham! This poem is showcasing romantic feelings while using other things as.. read more

First Page first
Previous Page prev
1
Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

542 Views
14 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on June 29, 2018
Last Updated on July 2, 2018

Author

Jordan Smith
Jordan Smith

Houston, TX



About
"All our dreams come true if we have the courage to pursue them" -Walt Disney I am an aspiring sports play by play broadcaster who writes poetry on the side. Trying to get back into it after a long.. more..

Writing

Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..