Funny or Naw?

I am not scared of dying,

I am scared of how i'll die.

Does anyone want to go

With a knife through their eye?

Imagine feeling the tip

At the very back of your skull...

Would you still be conscious

When the medics tried to pull?

Or what if your car crashed

And there was no one around

To help you out of it

Right before that 'BOOM' sound?

Would you hear it yourself?

Or would you choke on smoke?

That's why I fear certain deaths

Doesn't sound very dope.

But if I went in my sleep,

At 100 years old,

I would smile down at my body

When upwards I start to float.

Now, here is my issue!

What if I was dragged down?

Hell isn't a fun place

That also makes me frown.

I better go to church

And stop this talk of death

When I go, I go

But it isn't my time yet.

Author's Note

Haha. What are your thoughts about death? And how can I rearrange this poem so it would flow better. How would YOU have written it?

Reviews

[Mr.Writer]

Wow... this was very unique! I liked this piece! I felt some rhymes were a bit forced and could have been better :)
Such as...
``Would you hear it yourself?
Or would you choke on smoke?
That's why I fear certain deaths
Doesn't sound very dope.:
Dope sounds a bit, odd in this case. I know humor is involved but I think it could be a bit better :)
Maybe you can change it to...`
``They could give me a stroke``
I think thats better :)
Keep it up!
Very unique :)

[Jessica Lima]

Thank You so much! Editing isn't very fun so I always skip it... I know, I know...can't skip the most important part, but im... lazy like that I guess.

[Taz]

I liked this one alot, you did a good job.

[Sarah H]

Does anyone want to go
With a knife through their eye?

I've been freaking out about a scenario like this ever since I watched Saw II. Thanks for bringing it back up lol

[Tony Jordan]

Funny you mention that. I saw that on a film in the 1970s with Vincent Price - Theatre of Blood - a classic. He had a little trolley on track with two red hot knives positioned to roll into a vic's eyes when a candle burned through a string holding the trolley back (as heating the knives - in an early example of energy saving lol).

I must was those Saw movies - they sound terrific.

[Jessica Lima]

I never watched the saw movies lol. I am a chicken when it comes to that stuff

[Poeticme]

Well first this is a very deep poem,..but also cute as well. There isnt much to say about the way you wrote it ma'am, because these words came from inside you, there's probably a hundred ways to write this poem,..but this is yours, and its beautiful just the way it. As far as dying for me, I would rather not burn, drowned, fall to my death or get hit by a vehicle...and if I as to be shot, I would hope it would be straight to the head...Lights out!!..lol. Thanks for sharing this piece.

Dennis

[Jessica Lima]

I would not want to me shot in the head lol. I would like an open-casket funeral so ppl can choke in all my glory and stuff. Jk!!!

[Stacy Purvis]

Well, the paramedics wouldn't be removing such an object, just fyi, protocol is to immobilize the object and transport immediately to the nearest level 1 trauma center.
However, this piece is extremely cathartic in nature. All-in-all, an enjoyable read.

[Jessica Lima]

I did exagerate a bit to demonstrate tha when in fear our brains do not use logic, and that it can get very... creative. It was mostly four laughs. :) thank you for taking the time to review

[Somu]

A great explanation of death. i really liked this one.
keep up the good work. :)

[Tony Jordan]

I have often thought in detail how it would be to die in a mid-air passenger plane collision (I knwo very specific right)...but I have even watched videos which have recordings of the black box prior to catastrophic failure of an aircraft.
Imagine falling to Earth strapped into a aircraft's passenger seat - maybe at night over the sea without a single source of light within view. Horrific way to go.

Further reading
http://www.popularmechanics.com/adventure/outdoors/a5045/4344036/

[KT-B]

ha I liked this very much, I would prefer being 100 and passing in my sleep, if I had a choice! - I wouldn't change it at all, very thought provoking, though I tend not to dwell on the end.... lol, good stuff :)

[Jessica Lima]

Well, people keep telling me I shouldn't be afraid of death... this is what I tell them. Its not dying, its how ill die lol. Thanks for the review!!

[KT-B]

ah I see your logic, if I let myself think about it, I'd be scared too! lol maybe we'll all go together in a huge explosion when we're asleep, so we won't know anything about it....eeks!