1812

In Author's note. It was a Social Studies project.... Hope you enjoy!

My childhood was bad enough as it was, without the help of the horrible Andrew Jackson. Before I was born, the new government of the United States signed a peace treaty with my ancestors, the Cherokee Nation. They signed it, recognising us as our own nation within the borders of the U.S. Apparently, it won't last long. No, more like it didn't last long at all.

Hello, let me give you some information about me. My name is Malda, and I'm half Cherokee and half African. My father, Paldermo was an African Prince in his tribe back in his own native land in Kenya. He is now a slave to Micheal E. Lee, cousin of Robert E. Lee. Master Lee is horrible to my father, but I will explain that later. My mother is a Princess Mathera. Her father is the Chief of the Cherokee Nation. I was born July 27th, 1801. Now, on with my story.

Let me give you a history lesson. Andrew Jackson was the United States's 7th president. So far, and as far as I'm concerned, probably even in the future, President Jackson was the worst president ever. He 'deported' my mother because she is a citizen of the Cherokee Nation. I, at this Time, am in a very bad situation. Regardless of what I do, what my ambitions are, I am born "against their regulations." I have 0, none, zero white blood in my family. My father is the most hardworking slave in Georgia, and as I said before, my mother is Cherokee. I know you may be thinking, "you've got the best of Both Worlds!" But the trueth is, in this time, its THE WORST of both worlds. The Native Americans are considered lower life forms, and Blacks, well, to say the least, are considered animals.

Unfortunately, but very true, I either get 'deported' or I get  enslaved. Choices, choices. Let me ask you, would you rather be a slave, or move against your will to a place that could very well kill you? Either way, I'll be seperated from one of my precious parents. Can you imagine being the one to have to choose one parent of the other at the age of 14?  It's miserable! I am 14 years old, and am probably making one of the most important choices of my life. I'm not supposed to have to pick one parent over the other! 

Lets say I pick to be with my father. His 'owner' is bruetal and cruel.  He could kill a maid coldheartedly. (As long as he sees her body fall down, in distress and surprise, gun shots filling the air, then, the maid collapses to the floor, as she breathes her last breathes and speaks to my father, "Good luck, my love. I..." Then, her eyes roll back. She's dead. In this particular case, she was Marie, a Black girl who also married my father. She was my lovely step mother. I loved her. When my father told me of her death, I wouldn't come out of my bedchamber for weeks. My father was forbidden by his master to never see my mother again after they had me, but they always snuck around to meet each other at nights.) My life would be in danger if I stayed with my father. Did I meansion that the master is mean and very cruel to girls, giving them no thought, no respect, as if we weren't even animals? I could be beaten to death, or raped!

And if I go with my Mom? Walk over ten THOUSAND miles, and risk the chance of dying of disease and/or hunger? Count me FAR out! I'm already distressed about leaving, or loosing a parent enough, Pu-LEASE! I don't need diseases and more sorrow facing ahead; my friends and their family's deaths! Not to meansion my family's deaths! Did I mension the fact that my grandfather is the Cheif? How will he respond to the death toll? How will he handle it? Most importantly, Can he stand it? Imagine, for a minute, that you were him, having to walk the Trail Of Tears. Making your country, your people, your own family move to a location. Worse, making them WALK! 

Author's Note

Malda has a father who is a slave, and a mother who is Cherokee. It is year 1840, and President Andrew Jackson ordered the removal of the 'indians' on the Trail of Tears, which included her mother. Malda now has to choose between her mother, who is the daughter of the Chief, and her father, a slave.

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

The sad part. The real story was worst then the one you wrote. The Cherokee nation had it better then some. Whole nation were killed and forgotten for their land. Best book on Native American history is by Helen Jackson. Called a "Century of dishonor". Written by one of my heroes. Helen Jackson wrote many good books. She stood strong to help the Native American with her report. The story is very good. Being black and Cherokee in 1840 would mean a hard life ahead of you. Thank you for the story.
Coyote

[WynterPhoenix]

"Can you imagine being the one to have to choose one parent of the other at the age of 14? It's miserable! I am 14 years old, and am probably making one of the most important choices of my life. I'm not supposed to have to pick one parent over the other!" This is also the same in a divorce. I had to live with that.

Your story is great. I felt sad for the girl throughout. I could feel how scared and confused she was. A great write.

[Daniel Atkinson]

Good story, but it felt too casual. Try mixing up the structure a bit.

[Michael]

As far as I am concerned, you wrote this so well that I had to keep reminding myself you were writing about someone else.

I am new to giving reviews, so all I can say is it brought a tear to my eye and I will never forget this story.

edited.

I suppose the logical choice would be for her to go with her mother.
It would seem that her mother needed her more then her father would.

[J.L Hunter]

I enjoyed this very much. I am neither native American, nor am I African American, but I accept all races as simply different paths of humanity. I am a student of Akido and I learn that in order for the world to coexist equally, balance must be created. This was a good insight into the trials of one individual in a bad situation and i appreciate you writing about it.

[Jessi Berlasty]

"Hello, let me give you some information about me." I would omit this sentence. Teachers don't like it and it takes your mind away from the story. Try "Hello, my name is Malda" "I, at this Time, am in a very bad situation. " Accidental capital letter. "Let me give you a history lesson. Andrew Jackson was the United States's 7th president." United States' and also, I wouldn't put that either. If you want to include that he was the seventh president then I would insert it where you say he was the worse president ever. Saying "let me give you a history lesson," kind of adds a condescending tone to your writing. ""you've got the best of Both Worlds!" Both worlds wouldn't be capitalized. "truth" " I am 14 years old, (no comma) and am probably making one of the most important choices of my life." "Lets (let's) say I pick to be with my father" "a Black girl who also married my father." Accidental capitalization? "mention" "I could be beaten to death, or raped!" This one is a bit trickier. if you are pulling together two separate thoughts, I would just add "even" in there. "I could be beaten to death, even raped!" Something along those lines. "chief" Also, the last paragraph, I would rewrite it. Considering I doubt this person lived up until now, she wouldn't know slang like that. It's 1800s, so use more era appropriate language. Some uses of contractions are ok. Try to read a Jane Austen book and it will give you an idea of how to write from that era.

[sweetgreen]

great...your choice of words and style is splendid. keep it up, girl....

[Short.Nerd]

Aww.. this is so sad but great!! You did a wonderful job writing it! Keep up the good work :)

[Some Random Person.]

Who should she choose to stay with, her Mother or Father?