Before Metaphors | WritersCafe.org | The Online Writing Community
Before Metaphors

Before Metaphors

A Poem by Silente
"

Metal forged...

"
Before the metaphors and metal forged I sat ignored and lonesome
 alone and broken...
 Groanin' in an ocean of token defeat
 rote motions
 dead-feet
 my feats retreat...
 Bleeding dreams and fleeced sheep
 eaten lacking wheat
 a sheath for elite-meat-treats and bleep-heaps...
 Driven deeper-steeper
 hear her cry when satellites fly...
 I sit outside and mind my own business...
 But in this bees nest I'm best before checks in reality
 I'm a liability for the masks of sentimental sentinels brandishing fundamental finality on the mantle of rivalry...
Sodden grease and I follow-she
 all ah-me
 and I'm falling-free... 
Solemn freeze
 and I'm free-falling asleep... 


© 2017 Silente



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Featured Review

I like the way this is laid out kind of looks like an anvil! This is probably your most accessible work yet, but still full of vivid images. Great stuff!
One suggestion if you want it. In the line ' I'm a liability for the masks of sentimental sentinels brandishing fundamental finality on the mantle of rivalry...' I would change the last word to 'banality' because it just clidks better with 'reality'. Try it and see what you think.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Silente

1 Year Ago

Actually... I like that, hah, thanks for the new word... It is def' better in this instance, I would.. read more
The Iron Horseman

1 Year Ago

You're very welcome, my friend. I'm glad you liked the idea.



Reviews

Gee wilickers boys and girls… I wonder why this vacuous SJW d********g ran away with his tail between his legs? I wonder why that "social writing site" turned out to be a fake effort abandoned almost immediately by it's own creator?

Eggregious hypocritical virtue signaling bully games never work out in the long run. I'm glad you realized how embarrassing your actions were/are. Maybe if you had some substance behind your populist rage you'd be worth something... but alas... you turned out to truly be intellectually vacuous.

And I'm not even going to get into the plagiarism accusations against you. (which is probably the real reason you ran away like the coward you truly are.)

If you play stupid games, you win stupid prizes. Enjoy your shame. I hope you learned something.


Regards,

-- you know who this is... I never blocked you, ya coward. Despite all of your bullshit... you are still welcome to say whatever you want to me publicly or privately. And if you had any balls, personal integrity or honor you wouldn't have had to scurry away like you did. We could of talked like men and I would have been more than happy to debate you. You chose to act like an SJW bully. You did this to yourself...

(also, stop plagiarizing other peoples work... if your that intellectually bankrupt you have to resort to that s**t... maybe writing just isn't for you)

I look forward to your further cowardly silence.

Posted 21 Hours Ago


Fantastic, another great read from a great writer.
-Richard

Posted 4 Months Ago


I'm speechless. I dig this.

Posted 9 Months Ago


very nice!! i like your rhymes and also sentimental sentinels great stuff

Posted 9 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Silente

9 Months Ago

Thanks very much, appreciated, I liked that line...
Word usage, off the charts; nearly bewildering.
Starkly unique imagery.
A stunning read!


Posted 9 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Silente

9 Months Ago

A stunning review, Thank you so much, Jimmy... Especially for making me laugh earlier with your work.. read more
Interesting wordplay here. Good vocabulary, but I truly do not know what you are trying to say. Sorry. Lydi*

Posted 9 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Silente

9 Months Ago

A good sum of my poems are a "tad" abstract, mostly personal metaphors... Thank you for appreciating.. read more
Again with the great rhymes!


Posted 11 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Silente

11 Months Ago

Thanks...!
A lot of vivid and unclear images have been painted into my mind. Well done!

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Silente

1 Year Ago

Thank you very much...!
This piece is full of vivid imagery

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Silente

1 Year Ago

Equally, this review is full of vivid words, thanks very much, Poetic.
the flow is superb. The imagery and metaphor are to be aspired too by most other "amateur" poets. yet you achieve this level of vivid fluidity with almost alarming consistency and ease. very well done and thought provoking.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Silente

1 Year Ago

Thank you, Jeremy, it means a lot coming from such a talented artists as yourself...

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2065 Views
60 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 3 Libraries
Added on June 5, 2017
Last Updated on June 6, 2017
Tags: Poetry, Dark, Life, Sad, adventure, death, depression, family, fantasy, fiction, hope, horror, love, magic, mystery, pain, poem, romance, story

Author

Silente
Silente

Denver, CO



About
When you have no words... Go find them! They get lost easily... (Seriously) Moving "Pure Rhymes" onto a free social platform... Come join like-minded individuals in an environment created by com.. more..

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