Hiccup Over The Moon

I took a trip past the earths moon.

I swooned and spooned the honey from on off the lips of frothy wisps that resided in the space of outer space...

Face to face with a trace of myself.

Mirror image wealth...

Now floating in the inner atmosphere.

My inner-ear hurts...

My ear-drums popped and bled.

Outta moth balls...

Spheres are another word for when we fall and look up...

The faint trace of a hiccup outlines the place where the moon used to shine.

Reviews

[pia]

*bobs head back and forth while reading this*
This was soooo well written and intricate. I mean so many nice images at some point i just imagined a *random* Doolen just floating about being himself. This was super cute and reflected all those vast thoughts and emotions one would find within themselves. I loved the rhythm and flow as well.....amazing stuff !!!

[Chase Dylan]

*Bobs head back 'n' forth while reading this*... You always make me laugh, Pie... Thanks very much... Not sure if cute was what I was going for, but I will take it...! I can just imagine a random "Pie", with a silly look on her face, floating in the sky, just being herself... But on the sly... Hah

[pia]

Cute is my way of saying "GRRRRR AMAZEEE OMFG SLAAAAYYYY " but one must contain their inner excitement and appreciation when its too overwhelming for a "sophisticated" site like this hence i shall try to hide it behind the word "cute". I always have an airheaded poker faced expression lool XS

[Chase Dylan]

Lmao... You... Rofl... "Sophisticated"... This site...? Hahaha... Goood one, Pie. I liked that though, better than cute, in all honesty... Grr-Amazee-Slayyyy... Works for meh. I think I need to listen to Lady Gaga's "Poker Face", now... Damn you...

[pia]

Lady Gaga is queen bee though.

[Chase Dylan]

I listened to it, then went back to my safe circle. Queen bee, but keep the honey, please.

[pia]

Beyonce can be queen too sometimes.
Lady Gagas music kinda went sucky with the passage of time.

[Josie E. Cook M. A.]

Those wisps can be the reason for captivation and wanting in our minds.

Nice reflection it.

[Chase Dylan]

Thank you, Josie... That they can be...

[Josie E. Cook M. A.]

You are welcome!

[A little flame]

I like your poem. Getting a Shel Silvertein vibe.

[Chase Dylan]

Oohh, well thank you... A nice vibe to emulate, for sure...

[WoodenChair]

did you take a trip on lsd?

[Chase Dylan]

Not this time, thanks for the trippy review, WC

[Kesha]

I found this exceptionally fun to read and I absolutely loved the rhythm in this piece, it really took me... over the moon :P haha

[Chase Dylan]

Haha, did you meet the man when you went over? Thanks, Kesha

[Kesha]

I sure did ;) haha, I wrote a new horror piece if you're bored why don't you wander on over there? :P You're welcome :)

[Chase Dylan]

I did read it, and now I think I will leave a magnificent review...!

[Kesha]

Haha made me chuckle, thanks!

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Aye, I think spheres are meant to fall on our heads when we look up while falling down ;)
This nearly made me hiccup with appreciation lol jk :P
I've come to really love your choice of words and how they flow.

[Chase Dylan]

Haha, and I have come to really love your mimicking of my review style... Spheres are tricky things, you never know what side you are going to get... Hold your breath, hiccups dislike lack of oxygen... Thanks for reading, Yumna...!

[Dr. YumnaKay]

lol did I mimick? ;p I thought I hold my own :p
I hate hiccups, they never seem to stop ;|read morelol did I mimick? ;p I thought I hold my own :p
I hate hiccups, they never seem to stop ;|
you're welcome, D :)

[Chase Dylan]

Lol, well... You probably do it better in the first place...
Hiccups drive me nutz...
Careful...! People could figure out the first letter of my real name...! What horrors would unfold, then...

[Dr. YumnaKay]

lol well, D can have multiple meanings.. Ding Ding, Ding Dong, D*ng :p hahaha

[Chase Dylan]

Lmao... You... Aye, that it can... Confused as to what D*ng is, though...

[Dr. YumnaKay]

lol fill in all the vowels in that place and you'll figure out :P ;P ;)

[Chase Dylan]

Dang, deng, ding, dong, dung... Ohhhhhhhhh

[Dr. YumnaKay]

hahahaha well you know which one ;P ;)

[Chase Dylan]

Well, in my mind, it is a toss-up between "dong" and "dung"...

[Dr. YumnaKay]

no, no I meant dung :P

[Chase Dylan]

Uh-huh, suuuure... Riiiiight.... Absolutely...

[Decidious wind]

At first i found the poem confusing. I read it a few times to somehow get the idea. This is artistic. I think that art is anything that makes you wonder and sit there in awe and just admire it. Your poem exactly

[Chase Dylan]

I always find the things i write confusing, glad to know I am not alone in that, hah... What a beautiful definition of art... I can not help but agree... Thank you, Decidious...

[Decidious wind]

My pleasure

[Zoya]

The space...nice theme to write on. All the more nicer with your topsy turvy lines.
"I swooned and spooned the honey from on off the lips of frothy wisps that resided in the space of outer space..."
Loved this part.

[Chase Dylan]

You always have the best eye for lines, Zoe, thank you very much... Space is a very vast blast to pen on, aye...

[Zoya]

Uh-huh...you're most welcome

[emipoemi]

"Spheres are another word for when we fall and look up" - great line! This is great overall!! Well done!

[Chase Dylan]

Great review, Thanks so much... I am always hesitant about straying from the rhyme scheme... Glad you liked it

[emipoemi]

rhymes schemes are arbitrary......it's musicality that really matters

[Chase Dylan]

Aye, now that i agree with...