Vorpal Orbital

An orbital tracing while four petals of vorpal lace grace the blazing ace.

Gauge the mages ability.

Simplicity within implicit-sin cylindrical.

A wish a miracle-swish of slits and slip-rips and flip-dips and blips.

Blimps for wimps.

A glimpse of lips-syncing to the tryst.

Amidst mist I see grit drift and brittle whips.

Skittish trips and elvish guests.

Best guess is next in line.

My time to shine so I rewind to a more reasonable schematic.

Rhyme format intact my tact fast is now back in a lapse of grime.

Blown-away-swan-diving for a honed and braying horse.

Slow-whacked I format it black.

 so I paint it stark.

My craft is making me hoarse.

Tired to the bone.

Address the role-played when slaying to the beat-back remedy.

I meant melody...

Mellow and betrayed a meandering dime-nickel-turned blurry tangerine.

I meant battery...

In the green battle-up and scream armor-on and bleed.

Arms off you are eaten.

The maggots are feeding on lesions.

Legions of lions and pigeons blinded.

I'm pigeon-holed and stub-toed into piggy-roles.

Kinda...  

Reviews

[Kittenincake]

Your hyphenated words mirror impromtu adventure...That's what I take from your poem. It's describing your work as freedom-loving; being exhausted and amped up at once. Inspiration and following one's craft is motivated by spirit and often times it can run us into the ground...Until we are driven to get back up again.

[Chase Dylan]

These profound words are heavy and true, thank you for them, and aye... They certainly can drive up and down...

[emmajoy]

'Skittish trips and elvish guests. ~~ Best guess is next in line. ~~ My time to shine so I rewind to a more reasonable schematic. ~~ Rhyme format intact my tact fast is now.. .. .. '

Excuse me whilst i sit back shell-shocked, brain bashed silent for once! ... ... Two hours later: what an incredibly trippy little ditty.. so many musical hush your mouths and wondrous rhyming signature tunes they become dervish dancers across the screen! Whatever you had for breakfast speeds along like a musical express.. and, brilliantly!

[Chase Dylan]

Hah, a trippy little ditty, eh... Two hours... I never know what I had for breakfast... But I am sure it was not nutritious... Thank you, EJ... For the wonderful review...

[A little flame]

There is so much energy in your writing. Great work!

[Chase Dylan]

Thanks so much, Flame

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i agree with Annette...breathless...trying to catch my breath after reading this alliterative masterpiece.

makes me think of how someone from the movie..jacob's ladder...would write...while still tripping on agent orange.

good stuff...

i want a hit of whatever you were having.

j.

[Chase Dylan]

Been LOVING your writing lately, Jacob... Truly inspiring stuff, perhaps we can share the hits of w/e it is... Thanks very much for the keen insight, like always...

[Raven Moonchild]

(bows) NOT WORTHY, DUDE!!! NOT WORTHY OF SEEING SUCH AWESOMENESS!!!! (throws horns)

[Chase Dylan]

Hah, you never fail to amuse me, Raven... Thanks muchly

[emipoemi]

Bravo! The frantic rhythm of this kind of reminds me of "Eunoia" by Christian Bök in how there are a lot of assonance [and rhymes] in such close proximity that it feels like a whole confusion of thoughts battling it out to be understood....I mean this in a fantastic way! There are even moments where this seeming confusion is comically called upon by the "I meant...." lines. I can only imagine the hysterical delivery and what it sounds like when read aloud. Well done!

[Chase Dylan]

Oh wow, Emi... I will check that out, thanks for telling me, and doubly thanks for the amazing review... I had a ball editing those comedic relief lines from outta the block of words I had... Glad someone else liked it, and the presentation was understood, hah...

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

Once again, How Do You Do This??? The wordage, rhyme, beat, imagery leave me breathless."My craft is making me hoarse. Tired to the bone."-believable my friend. "Rhyme format intact my tact fast is now back in a lapse of grime"- Welcome back Silente-Excellente!!

[Chase Dylan]

Hah, well thank you once again for the generous words, Annette... I have been around, just do not like to post all that much sometimes... Then again, who am I to argue such a warm-hearted welcome back.... Thanks again!